True vision of motherhood
Bristol’s mystery caped crusader has last word
MY favourite picture of the week by far is the snap of Rebekah Vardy, wife of Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy, holding aloft her three-month old baby son Finley. Sweet. But what makes it special is that Rebekah, wearing only a substantial and non-titillating set of bra and pants, is perfectly happy to let the world see her mummy tummy and stretch marks.
And she looks absolutely beautiful. Her soft, maternal folds are the epitome of womanhood.
“I have a wobbly tummy, bigger legs and stretch marks – just like any woman does when she has a baby,” Rebekah says. She gets annoyed when celebs are photographed stick-thin just weeks after childbirth.
So many celebs (Demi Moore, Beyoncé, Kim Kardashian) are more than happy to show off their bodies in late pregnancy. And that’s fine. They look marvellous, fecund and proud. But until now I cannot remember any of them happily displaying their post-birth, gently floppy tummies.
Rebekah has turned this around. Of course Twitter trolls have condemned her picture, saying she looks “huge”. She doesn’t. She looks absolutely gorgeous and truly happy in her own skin. This is motherhood: the real deal.
THE FLAWLESS MRS TRUMP
TALKING of photos, did you see the picture of America’s First Lady this week? Melania Trump’s debut official portrait was the opposite of Rebekah Vardy’s. The lighting was flattering, the hi-definition make-up (flawless skin, bronzer, stencilled eyebrows) beyond professionally skilled.
She looks amazing. Yet experts claim the photo is so heavily re-touched that there is absolutely no credibility in it. Melania has, they say, been airbrushed and photoshopped almost beyond recognition.
OK, probably. But honestly, can you blame her? If I could have a snap of myself looking like that, I think I would even put up with the horror of being Mrs Trump. IT doesn’t get more British than this: the caped crusader who prowls the streets of Bristol correcting apostrophes on hoardings and public signs. Armed with an eight-foot “apostrophiser” and a stepladder he paints out superfluous apostrophes and daubs in missing ones.
It all started in 2003 when he spotted a council sign that read: “Open Monday’s to Friday’s”. Ouch! And another: “Amys Nail’s.” Aargh!!
“I just couldn’t abide it,” he said in an anonymous interview this week. “It was just SO in your face.” More recent corrections include “Herberts the Bakery” (add missing punctuation) and a greengrocer’s advert for “potato’s” (delete).
Technically this may be criminal damage but if so surely it’s better than all that grammatical damage.
I’m inspired to start up my own vigilante campaign aimed exclusively at Radio 4’s Today programme. Every time I hear an interviewee begin an answer with: “So…” I’m going to switch off immediately. Join me.
Together we can make a difference.