Peter Hill

THERE was outrage when the Government said last week that prisons were no longer places for punishment. Reports of prisoners enjoying mobile phones and televisions and getting high on drugs delivered by drones reinforce the widely held view of holidaycamp jails.

I can think of few things worse than being locked up with a bunch of bored, frustrated, violent blokes who have nothing to do except cause trouble. What they need is a purpose in life, productive work with the prospect of a job or business start-up at the end.

Let me tell you about a friend of mine. As a young man he went the wrong way: drugs, petty theft escalating to armed robbery and ending in a long sentence. But in prison he got the chance to learn a trade: upholstery. And so he discovered a talent. Now he has his own business and is a valued member of his community.

If only every prisoner could be given such a lifeline but there is neither the staff nor facilities in most jails and inmates are often locked up for hours, sullen, resentful and learning at best only how to beat the system and become more successful criminals.

If prisons are to work far more money and effort will have to be invested. q ARE you packing up your Easter tree, Easter baubles and Easter cards and tidying up the mess left by your Easter crackers today?

What, you haven’t got any such things? Neither have I and never shall have. Call me a misery but this is one new trend I shan’t be subscribing to.

There is more than enough of that stuff at Christmas, Mother’s and Father’s Days, Valentine’s Day, etc, without further commercialising Easter. Enough. q HAVING said that, I was in shock when I stepped out on Easter Sunday to find all three local supermarkets shut. As a city dweller I am used to the shops always being open, enabling us to buy fresh food from morning until night.

Just one day and it is the end of civilisation. Yes, I agree with you – totally spoiled. q I REFUSE to worry about North Korea. Trust me, it won’t be the cause of a Third World War. There won’t be a war despite the fact that megalomaniacs and other types of nutcase seem to be in charge all over the place.

I am not exactly an optimist but I believe that the United States, Russia and China will sort things out, perhaps they already have secretly. They are like a set of dogs facing up in the park: a lot of snapping and snarling but it’s all show and no serious injury occurs.

Don’t bother writing to complain if I turn out to be wrong. The post probably won’t be delivered. q I ALSO have an increasing suspicion that Brexit will be a huge compromise all round. None of the big players wants a trade war and after weeks, perhaps years, of argybargy there will be a settlement that pleases few but doesn’t frighten too many people either.

There is a famous quotation in a book called The Leopard, set in Sicily at the revolutionary time Garibaldi was uniting Italy: “Everything must change so that everything can remain the same.” I predict that is exactly what Brexit will mean.

Britain will be out of the European Union yet still in it in all but name, bound by all the EU rules, laws and even free movement. q UNITED AIRLINES has been hit by a devastating PR disaster after a passenger who refused to give up his seat was dragged off a plane and suffered a broken nose, concussion and lost two front teeth. But isn’t that the problem: the airline is worried about bad PR?

Whenever anything untoward happens the first thought that occurs to companies, organisations, charities and governments is public relations. The next thought is how to spin the situation so that the least damage happens. And every time they get it wrong.

United chief executive Oscar Munoz at first claimed the passenger Dr David Dao had been violent and belligerent. Then the truth emerged that the poor man had been the victim of a terrible assault by officials. The airline is now fighting a losing battle to salvage its reputation.

Only one thing might have saved them, and the same goes for any individual or company in a similar situation: tell the truth right away, admit fault, apologise, do your best to put matters right.

Never try to spin. I have given that advice to many business executives and politicians, including prime ministers. They solemnly agree. Then spin like crazy. q FOR weeks a message has flashed on the dashboard of our car saying that the left reversing light is faulty. An irritating picture of a light bulb then stays on the screen. Or it did until last week when I finally got the bulb replaced. Bliss.

But why did I have to do it? I hardly ever use the car. Shouldn’t the person who drives it most have got it fixed?

Come to think of it, why on the rare occasions I need the car do I find that the fuel warning light is on and I have to make a diversion to fill it up?

When I raise this with my wife she just laughs and then waltzes off to empty the tank again. q AN eight-year-old “comedian” on Britain’s Got Talent described Amanda Holden as a dog. She should have slapped him and his idiot dad who wrote this nasty, unfunny non-joke.