Wanted: Baby-maker for eccentric toff, 70
Somerset-based baronet Sir Benjamin Slade is ‘interviewing hard’ for a new partner to provide him with an heir to his two castles and 2,000-acre estate
IDaily Express Wednesday April 19 2017 T IS a problem that may not impact on many of our lives but for the last surviving member of one of Britain’s most aristocratic families, the prospect of dying without an heir is prompting desperate measures.
Sir Benjamin Julian Alfred Slade – or simply Sir Ben, as he prefers to be known – is “interviewing hard” for a new wife after ending his last relationship because his partner had become too old to provide him with a successor.
The baronet, 70, recently split with businesswoman Bridget Convey – “she is 50, too old to have children,” he says simply – and has now decided to take a more pragmatic approach to finding The One by compiling a specific list of his requirements.
“Even aside from the issue of an heir I’ve got two old castles in Somerset,” he says. “I have to run them and you can’t do it without a woman. I have had a few proposals but sometimes the women are past their sell-by date and have been over the guns a few times.”
As well as Sir Ben’s ancestral home – Maunsel House, set in 2,000 acres – he also owns Woodlands Castle, which dates from the 17th century and is one of the country’s most sought-after wedding venues.
“If I drop dead tomorrow my places will be on the market within a month,” he says. “I want to have children to insure against that. So the easiest thing to do is find a lady who can provide a male heir – preferably two, just in case – who also has the brains to run my castles. God knows I can’t. Women know what colour to paint things, for example. I’ve no idea of flower arrangements or things like that.”
SIR BEN’S matrimonial requirements go beyond simply being of childbearing age and having a good eye for a tin of Farrow & Ball, however. He has compiled a list of essential qualities every candidate must possess.
“They can’t come from a country with green on its flag for a start,” he says. “Or from countries where they don’t wear overcoats in winter. No countries beginning with ‘I’. No Guardian readers.
“They must have a shotgun licence and a driving licence. A helicopter licence would be nice. They must have armorial bearings of course. Scorpios, drug users, lesbians, communists and Scots need not apply.
“Some legal and accountancy training would be beneficial and they must be able to breed sons. I don’t mind if they’ve bred before, in fact in many ways that would be preferable as they would be provable breeders.
“Private capital and income would be helpful, though I appreciate you have to give some pocket money to your wife. And of course it helps if they’re castle-trained.”
If it all sounds rather oldfashioned, Sir Ben insists that, if anything, he’s attracting too many offers. “I have a very busy social life,” he says. “I do upmarket weddings at my castle and they’re always full of fabulous ladies. That’s how I’m meeting my candidates, mostly. The brides bring their unmarried friends and so it seems every evening I’m chatting up wonderful young ladies.
“Recently I proposed to three different women on the same night. Two of them accepted. The trouble was, the next morning they didn’t look so good.
“I took another young lady to the races yesterday. She’s only 35 and has two children already but most importantly wants more. She’s a definite candidate. The problem is she’s only five foot three.
“I need some height in the family – 200 years ago a Slade married a short woman and it has taken a couple of centuries to get back to where we are now. I don’t want to undo that good work. I need some height in a wife. Anyone over six foot preferably.”
Sir Ben is keeping himself in shape too thanks to the “Genghis Khan diet”, which he says is “recommended for young lotharios and involves eating sweet potato, sunflower seeds and horny goat weed”. It certainly worked for Genghis who is said to have had 2,000 children.
It is not the first time the aristocrat’s love life has been in the news. His first marriage to Pauline Myburgh broke down after he became frustrated with her 17 cats (he later claimed the divorce made legal history as the only case where a cat was named as co-respondent). Another relationship, with Fiona Aitken, ended in a custody battle over their dog Jasper. Fiona went on to marry the Earl of Carnarvon.
More recently his relationship with girlfriend Kirsten Hughes, who starred in the 1987 film Jane And The Lost City, ended when she ran off with the handyman. “Which means I’m also advertising for a new handyman,” he says now.
His search has also made headlines abroad. “It’s extraordinary,” he says. “I’ve even had the bloody Dutch calling up about it. They were saying, ‘Why don’t you want homosexuals? Or communists? And what’s wrong with drugs?’
“I had to tell them, how can I expect to continue the family line with a homosexual wife? And communists – Stalin and Mao and all those chaps? Crazy.
“As for drugs – I understand that sort of thing is all well and good in Holland but take it from me, drugs are not a good thing and besides, heroin is bloody expensive.”
Any young ladies keen on applying for the unusual position should act soon, however. According to Sir Ben, interest is high.
“I have a good strong seven or eight applications,” he says. “Rather than interviewing them one by one I’m going to have a party. I throw excellent parties and it also makes economic sense. Get them all in the same room at the same time so I can check them out properly. I’m very much looking forward to it.”
He is also quick to defend himself against any charge of being overlypractical in his search for a spouse.
“Oh but I’m very romantic!” he says. “But then one does need to combine that with the need for someone to run the place properly. And modern girls are very shrewd – you have to lock them in with an heir. Plus I understand it’s very tax efficient to get married.
“And of course being married would give me more time to go off shooting and having fun.”