100 YEARS OLD AND STILL REFLECTING FALSE TRUTHS...

ONCE upon a time, there was a proud and beautiful queen who was loved by all her subjects. She had become queen by huge popular consent when the previous king had abdicated in order to spend more time with his family.

To maintain her popularity, this queen had acquired a magic mirror which she hung on her wall every morning and asked the same question:

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, whom do the people of my realm love most of all?” and the mirror always replied the same way: “You, dear Queen. You are the person your people love the most.”

“How many of my people love me most of all?” the Queen then asked.

“Lots and lots of them,” the mirror replied.

“How much more do they love me than anyone else?” the Queen asked.

“Lots and lots and lots more,” the mirror said.

This happened every morning, but one day, the Queen added a further question:

“Oh magic mirror,” she said, “if I were to hold an election to ask my people whom they love the most, would everybody vote for me?”

And the mirror said, “I don’t see why not, as long as you don’t make a complete Hillary of it.”

The Queen, however, did not hear the end of that reply as she had rushed out to announce an election. The next day, she was surprised to hear that someone had decided to run against her in the election. “Who dares to do this?” she asked her advisers angrily.

“Don’t worry,” they said, “It’s Jez the Tortoise. He’s far too slow and unpopular to catch you.”

The Queen rushed straight to her mirror and asked about this upstart Tortoise. “How dare he challenge my authority?” she fumed.

“Just stay calm,” said the mirror but the Queen wasn’t listening.

The next day, still fuming, the Queen said she would introduce a dementia tax to be paid by everyone who was stupid enough to vote for Jez Tortoise but this did not go down well.

The Queen began to panic and spent some time flapping and running in the wrong direction which let the Tortoise make good progress at her expense.

“What am I doing wrong?” the Queen asked the magic mirror.

“Just don’t make any more mistakes,” said the mirror, “and you’ll be fine.”

But the Queen had dashed out to issue another proclamation: she’d snatch the winter fuel from elderly people and use it to burn Tortoise supporters at the stake.

Then she went back to her magic mirror to boost her confidence and asked it: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, whom do the people of my realm love most of all?” and the mirror replied:

“From my position on the wall, the outcome’s now too close to call,” and the Queen, in a rage, threw the mirror to the floor and smashed it into pieces.

None of the characters in the above bears any resemblance to anyone living or dead. No tortoises were harmed in the writing. The mirror is under investigation for reflecting false news.

We’ll discover the moral tomorrow.