100 YEARS OLD AND STILL RUNS AWAY FROM LIZARDS...

THE online science journal PLOS ONE has just come up with a stonking piece of research of vital importance to anyone planning to catch a lizard while wearing a T-shirt. The paper, entitled “Fear no colours? Observer clothing colour influences lizard escape behavior,” details research at the University of California designed to measure the effect of wearing T-shirts of different colours when approaching lizards.

Four T-shirts were used in the experiment: light blue, dark blue, grey and red. For each trial, a T-shirt was chosen at random and a lizard was approached to measure how close the T-shirt wearing experimenter could get to it before the lizard ran away. Note was also taken, in later experiments, of whether the experimenter could catch the lizard using a noose on the end of a pole.

The blue T-shirts were chosen to match the colour of patches on the abdomen and throat of the lizards which they use in sexual signalling. Red and grey were chosen for contrast in both colour and detectability.

The results clearly showed that you can get closest to a lizard when wearing dark blue which is also the most successful colour for catching them. Lizards run away sooner from red T-shirts which unsurprisingly are also the worst colour to wear for catching them.

Pondering this while strolling through the grounds of Beachcomber Towers, I chanced upon one of our pet free-range iguanas and asked what he thought of the research.

“A good start, I suppose,” he said, “but they could have done so much more.” “Such as?” I queried. “Well speaking personally, I’m more likely to be affected by the slogan or picture on a T-shirt than its mere colour,” he said. “For example, anyone with a sloth on their T-shirt, such as the one you’re wearing now, is clearly a decent fellow. But if the T-shirt bears the words ‘Kill All Lizards’ or something similar I’d be off like a shot whatever the hue of the background.”

“That’s very reasonable,” I said, “but why the preference for dark blue over light blue? You let experimenters wearing dark blue come closer and they’re also more likely to catch you.”

“Well it may be just a personal quirk and I’m not sure whether it’s justified,” the iguana said but I always feel safe with researchers in Oxford blue. They seem gentler and they feed us better than their Cambridge blue colleagues.

“Also I should point out that Oxford blue is number 282 on the Pantone scale, which is equal to 6 times 47, and I have always been fond of the number 47. Cambridge blue, of course, is Pantone 557 and 557 is a prime number which I have always found a bit standoffish.”

I would have loved to continue the conversation further but at that moment I noticed, through the corner of my eye, a Komodo dragon sneaking up on us, so I high tailed it back to the house. And I didn’t even have time to notice whether it was wearing a T-shirt and if so, what colour it was.