Pinning faith on my high hopes for 2018

Widdecombe

HOPE you all had a merry Christmas and that 2018 will bring you peace, joy and prosperity. I trust Theresa May managed a relaxed Christmas. Losing Damian Green from her Cabinet was hardly the best ending to her year. She has never seemed close to anybody at Westminster but Damian is an old friend and utterly trustworthy.

I have no doubt she will continue to consult him in private but will still feel the loss of his presence at the heart of government. Still, the PM is nothing if not resilient and she will cope with her usual fortitude. I hope 2018 gives her an agreement over the Irish border, without which there can be no proper Brexit.

I hope too that 2018 will be the year in which innocent men accused of sexual assault and rape will at last get equal treatment at the hands of the police and Crown Prosecution Service, although that might be difficult given the attitude of lawyer Alison Saunders.

YCHRISTMAS is full of groans. Tables groan with food. Children groan when thank-you letters are mentioned. Dad groans that he has eaten too much and mum that he has drunk too much.

Yet there is one groan we all love: the obligatory one when the cracker jokes are read. Why did the Malteser go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smartie. What do you call a line of men waiting for a hair cut? A barberqueue. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve.

Children love them and so secretly do the adults. We just have to pretend we are above anything so gloriously simple.