Can you predict if a partner will cheat?
According to new research, women married to handsome men are more likely to stray, as are people satisfied with sex in their relationship so…
FOR the millions of married couples who will exchange Valentine’s cards today it is a sobering statistic: about 42 per cent of marriages end in divorce in this country, and of all the reasons for splitting, adultery comes top of the list.
But what if we were able to tell whether the man or woman we promised to share our life with would actually remain faithful till death us do part? A new study by researchers at Florida State University suggests we could do just that.
Their report, published in the Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology, highlights a series of traits that cheats have in common – and several are surprising.
After studying 233 newly married couples over three-anda-half years, they found that those who enjoy an active and satisfying sex life are actually more likely to stray than couples who remain more staid between the sheets, “perhaps suggesting they felt more positive about sex in general and would seek it out regardless of how they felt about their main relationship”.
They also found that while men with more attractive wives tend to be more faithful, women with more attractive husbands are more prone to playing away. And that while good-looking men have a higher chance of straying, it is the less-comely women who tend to seek a bit on the side.
For psychologist and dating coach Jo Hemmings however, the results are not as eyeopening as they first appear. “People who enjoy sex are more likely to be hedonistic, and so actively seek out pleasure,” she says. “So these could be couples who have a lot of good sex but not necessarily in a loving context. And for hedonists, having a lot of something can mean you crave even more of it, perhaps in new ways with new people.”
She is also unsurprised by the revelation that those married to handsome men are more likely to cheat on them.
“People tend to stray for many reasons but the attractiveness of their partner is rarely one of them,” she says. “Having a very attractive partner can be intimidating for some women, so they may seek reassurance from someone less good-looking.”
The report also found that while men with a high number of previous short-term sexual partners are more likely to stray, the same was not true of women.
Jo explains: “If a man is having a crisis of confidence, he may think back to the wild days of his youth and attempt to recapture that by seeking out new sexual partners. The attitude of most women is, ‘I’ve had my wild time, now I’m ready to settle down’. Women are led more by their emotions than their genitalia.”
The findings follow similar research published last year in the Journal Of The International Association For Relationship Research which found a link between parental infidelity and cheating by their children.
THOSE whose mother or father was unfaithful tended to continue that pattern. Jo says: “That behaviour might seem something they grew up with, and gets passed on to the next generation.”
But even given all of these studies, she believes that the chances of your husband or wife being unfaithful are rarely as simple as totting up factors such as number of previous partners, the behaviour of their parents, attractiveness or even the quality of your own sex life. For Jo, the greatest sign your partner is playing around can be summed up in one word: change.
“It’s the one thing I see again and again,” she says. “The classic factor in cases of infidelity is a change in behaviour – even if it seems positive.
“If your partner is suddenly behaving differently, you might want to investigate why.”