Time for hire education
COULD you name 10 types of sausage? Off the top of your head, I mean – no conferring, no googling. I only ask because you’ll need to be able to do so, should you ever wish to become a product developer with Yorkshire-based Heck Foods.
We know this thanks to last night’s episode of THE JOB INTERVIEW (C4), the curiously addictive series where we get to eavesdrop on real people being grilled for real positions.
Heck’s founders, Andrew and Debbie Keeble, put that very question to each of the three people competing for this role and no-nonsense Debbie was clearly operating a zero-tolerance policy towards anyone thrown by it.
“They should know that,” she insisted. “It’s just a basic fact of life.”
For one candidate, food scientist Reza, it was a basic fact that had sadly eluded him. For every vacancy featured on this programme, there’s always one candidate with “blatantly doomed” written all over them. On Reza it was written in foot-high neon lights.
Ten types of sausage? Bless him, he struggled to name even two. And when he eventually did, his answers were somewhat missing the point of the exercise. “We’ve got, er… catering sausages,” he suggested. “We’ve got… let’s say… er… fresh sausages…”
Needless to say, Reza was soon heading home. “I think we’ve got all we need,” declared Andrew. “It’s been an absolute pleasure meeting you.”
“See you later!” Reza chirruped, with almost heartbreaking optimism.
The real appeal of The Job Interview, compared to say The Apprentice, is that you find yourself genuinely rooting for most of these people. They’re not jumped-up, ego-driven, self-aggrandising ninnies. They’re just normal people looking for work.
Having said that, some arrive so woefully ill-prepared that you can’t help but chuckle. That and wince. For last night’s other vacancy, as a front-of-house receptionist for Champneys health spa, the candidates were asked to name some of the company’s most popular treatments.
The interviewers were obviously looking for answers such as reflexology or shiatsu. This point seemed lost on candidate Valerie. “You offer relaxation techniques…” she suggested, vaguely, “background music… it relaxes you…. sit down… sit back…and…”
Interviewer Gemma Beeson, head of HR, felt obliged at this point to interrupt Valerie’s stream of extraordinary waffle. “Are you guessing?!” she exclaimed, barely able to disguise her disbelief.
“Yeah,” sighed 57-year-old Valerie, perhaps aware she’d already blown it, suddenly sounding like a sullen teen. You almost expected her to add: “Do I look bothered?”
Before that, in the controversial MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT (C4), another pair of strangers tied the knot. But unlike last week’s excitable couple, whom we now saw living it up on honeymoon in Mallorca, still barely able to keep their hands off one another, this latest pair – finance director Harriet and police sergeant Richard – looked a little pensive as they stood before the registrar, as if contemplating the enormity of what they’d just done.
So in terms of which of these marriages looks the more likely to endure, once everyday reality kicks in, are you thinking what I’m thinking?