Shoe leather meats its match in boiled beef
American scientists argue that the Sunday roast should be boiled rather than roasted. DOMINIC MIDGLEY gives it a try… so you don’t have to
ONE of the highlights of my week has long been the aroma of the Sunday roast as it sizzles in the oven. And I am not alone. Over the years the British love of a beautifully cooked piece of beef has become so synonymous with our national identity that from the mid-18th century onwards the French have been referring to us in that mildly derogatory way of theirs as “rosbifs”.
Now a group of scientists based in Boulder, Colorado, claim that cooking a roast with the windows shut gives pollution readings up to 13 times worse than a congested street in central London.
Their tests detected tiny particles called PM2.5s that – if inhaled – can lead to heart disease, stroke and lung cancer, conditions that contribute to 30,000 early deaths in Britain each year. The answer, they argue, is not to roast our beef – or lamb or chicken or pork – but to boil it.
Are these people actually insane? Have they never seared a beef joint before roasting and revelled in its transformation from a deep red to an unctuous brown?
Have they never observed the fat on a piece of sirloin change from greasy white into a piece of chargrilled loveliness? Have they never cut into a rare piece of roasted fillet and rejoiced in its crimson perfection?
IN fairness, they might well respond by asking if I have ever boiled a piece of beef. And so, in the interests of balance, I took myself off to Marks & Spencer and bought a “small roasting joint”.
In the normal course of events, I would begin by browning the meat in a frying pan in a mixture of hot oil and melted butter. This is a process that brings about what professional chefs call the Maillard effect – the chemical reaction between a carbohydrate molecule and an amino acid that produces the caramelised flavours on the surface of the meat.
But the Colorado killjoys rule out this practice and so the meat goes straight into a pot of boiling salted water. It immediately turns an unpleasant shade of light brown and within seconds an unsightly grey scum has begun to form on the surface of the water.
Forty minutes later, my heat probe shows that the beef has reached the recommended minimum temperature and it’s time to cut it open and see what grim prospect awaits me.
To my surprise the centre has an agreeably reddish hue and I begin to wonder whether my initial scepticism may not have been justified.
But once I put my knife and fork to work my worst fears are realised. If Clarks ever runs out of shoe leather I can heartily recommend boiled beef as an entirely suitable replace ment. The dry, chewy piece of cardboard that I sample purely in the course of duty will live long on the tongue. And not in a good way. One of the ironies of boiling meat in water is that it gets tough rather than mushy as the heat of the water breaks down the cells in the meat and the moisture leaks out. Cooking meat in water is not a 100 per cent no-no, of course. A nicely poached chicken breast is delicious.
And no less an authority than Nigella Lawson swears by a mild-cured gammon cooked in Coca-Cola for two and a half hours.
“Only those who have never tried this raise an eyebrow at the idea,” she says. “Don’t hesitate, don’t be anxious: this really works. No one who cooks it, cooks it just once: it always earns a place in every repertoire.”
Some members of the older generation even argue that a cheap cut of beef such as silverside or brisket can be perfectly acceptable after boiling for a few hours.
But I can safely say that I would rather play roulette with my health than take the advice of the scientists from Boulder.
AFTER all, what do the folks in Colorado know about cooking anyway? I am reliably informed that one of their culinary staples is something called a Rocky Mountain Oyster. How sophisticated, I hear you cry. What’s not to like about one of those beautiful molluscs, perhaps with a spot of Tabasco sauce to spice it up?
Unfortunately, the Rocky Mountain variety is not a shellfish at all but the testicle of a bull, bison, or calf. To prepare one, first strip the testicle of its outer membrane, slice it, then mix with cornmeal or some other flour and deep fry. Dipped in cocktail sauce, I’m told this “delicacy” makes “a brilliant appetiser”.
Thanks, I think I’ll pass.
STAR TREK veteran William Shatner, 87, pictured, cheekily questions Sir Patrick Stewart’s stamina following news the latter is returning to the long-running science fiction franchise.
With Yorshireman Stewart, 78, reviving alter-ego Captain Jean-Luc Picard in a new TV series, 17 years after he last played the role, Shatner, who famously portrayed Captain Kirk, mischievously remarks: “I don’t know what Patrick is doing, doing that. A series is debilitating for a young guy, for a 25-year-old. It’s a physical wrecker, it’s a mental wrecker… because you’re working 14, 18 hours a day.”
Fitness-focused
Sir Patrick, almost 40 years older than third wife Sunny Ozell, would doubtless wish it to be known he’s still in tip-top shape!
ACTRESS Lucy Briers, 51, daughter of much-loved late star Richard Briers, movingly writes on Twitter: “It’s six years almost to the moment when my dear, wonderful Dad died. Since then he has missed seeing me in my first West End musical and my never-dared-to-dream four months on Broadway.”
She adds: “He has blessedly missed seeing my mother’s descent into Alzheimer’s.
“Dad, I miss you every day.”
COUNTRY music great and actress Dolly Parton, 73, who has long worn wigs, explains she has a faithful employee on hand to maintain them.
She tells BBC Breakfast: “When someone says, ‘How long does it take to do your hair?’ I have to say, ‘I don’t know, I’m never there’.”