Plenty of Argie-bargie
THEY’RE jetting off to Argentina tonight in the latest episode of THE REAL MARIGOLD ON TOUR (BBC1, 9pm). This time “they” means Paul Nicholas, Sheila Ferguson, Wayne Sleep and Jan Leeming (right). The dream team.
Argentina, we’re told, enjoys one of the longest life expectancies in South America, plus a cost of living that’s half the UK’s. So if any of this lot are genuinely thinking of retiring there – which, let’s be honest, they’re clearly not but let’s humour the producers and continue to pretend we believe that, shall we? – then it seems to have quite a lot going for it.
And their thoughts as they prepare for this trip? Well, that rather depends on who you talk to. “When I think of Argentina I think of warmth, I think of music,” remarks Sheila, who’s from Philadelphia.
Whereas Paul, who’s from Peterborough, has a slightly different take: “We had that war over the Falklands,” he reminds us. “Hopefully, that’s all behind us now and they’ll be happy to see us.”
Not for the first time on one of these shows, Jan finds herself getting chatted up by a local, in this case a chap she meets at an art class. She agrees to meet later for a date at a cocktail bar. Could this be a life-changing moment?
Hmm, well, yes and no. Or, more accurately, just plain no. But it does turn out to be quite an eye-opener.
Also tonight there’s THE BRIT AWARDS 2019 (ITV, 8pm). Now, I’m sure I read somewhere the other day – can’t remember where, got a head like a sieve – that the terrestrial viewing figures for this event are significantly down these days, seemingly because the cool kids don’t want to sit and watch traditional steam-powered television as it brings them out in a rash.
But if that’s the case, then I can’t help feeling ITV are missing a trick here. Yes, obviously it’s great that comedian Jack Whitehall is hosting it again, live from the O2 Arena in London – he’s awfully good and speaks beautifully – and fab that tonight’s line-up includes major contemporary names such as Little Mix, Sam Smith, George Ezra and Dua Lipa but… well, look, if the younger audience is increasingly shunning the terrestrial coverage, surely that gives the terrestrial coverage the perfect excuse to make itself radically different.
By that, I mean appeal to older viewers instead. If the cool kids aren’t watching the telly in any case, why don’t ITV pander to the grownups who still are and who make up the channel’s most loyal audience?
Me, I’d hire an alternative commentator of a certain vintage, someone who can sit up in the commentary booth and provide a different, altogether more honest take on what’s happening down on the stage.
Someone who’d consistently talk all over the live performances, going: “Call this music? Where’s the tune? Look at that idiot, needs a good wash…” and generally make the sort of harrumphing noises my dad used to make whenever Top Of The Pops came on. Trust me, the ratings would soar.