Nigella... I felt under attack after marriage and drugs revelations
CELEBRITY chef Nigella Lawson says she has still not faced the trauma following the exposure of her marriage breakdown and drug use.
The 59-year-old described the “tough years” she faced when her 10-year marriage to Charles Saatchi ended in 2013 and she was dragged through the courts to give evidence on two former assistants accused of fraud.
During the trial she gave testimony responding to accusations of drug abuse and admitted taking cocaine and marijuana.
Nigella said: “It wasn’t just about being in the paper all the time. It was generally about feeling exposed and under attack.
“In a way, it would have been much better for me to be able to speak openly. It goes against my nature not to.
Anxiety
“But I do think that becoming a tabloid story, and everything I went through then – shame, various things – in a way gave me a form of trauma of its own. And I don’t think I’ve addressed that enough to talk about it.
“Besides, I would genuinely rather talk about food.”
Nigella’s personal life was thrust into the spotlight when paparazzi photos captured her second husband with his hand around her throat, fuelling speculation of domestic abuse.
Just a few months later she was forced to give evidence in the trial of Elisabetta Grillo and her sister Francesca, her and Saatchi’s former personal assistants, who were accused of spending £685,000 on credit cards belonging to the pair.
They were found not guilty after a three-week trial.
The cook has published 12 cookbooks and hosted numerous cooking shows.
She has sold more than three million books and is reported to have a net worth of £15.5million.
Nigella said: “I think I am
driven by anxiety. I think that I’ve had to learn to accept that.
“But I also get so much pleasure in thinking about food in all its manifestations. I’d hate to make it look like it is all a bed of pain. Obviously it is something that makes me happy.”
Last year marked the 20th anniversary of How To Eat, which was published in 1998.
John Diamond, her first husband and father of her two
children, died less than three years later from throat cancer.
Her second book, 2000’s How To Be A Domestic Goddess, won her the British Book Award for author of the year.
Nigella admits she has to “cringe” at her self-appointed status. “It was supposed to be ironic,” she said. “It’s bad enough to be called a domestic goddess, but to be seen as a self-styled domestic goddess is the worst.”