How to live kindfully...
Wellbeing expert ANNA BLACK explains why little acts of kindness can make you happier – and healthier
WE’RE all told that it’s better to give than to receive – but it now seems that science has proved it.
A recent study from Oxford University found that completing seven days of kindness activities significantly boosted participants’ levels of happiness.
And the more kind acts performed, the happier people felt.
“When you’re kind to another person, the brain’s pleasure and reward centres light up as if you’re the recipient of a good deed and not the giver,” says wellbeing expert Anna Black.
And it seems being kind could not only make you happier, but boost health too.
“Kindness stimulates the production of serotonin, the body’s feel-good chemical that makes you feel calm, and oxytocin, which lowers blood pressure,” she adds.
“Kind people have also been found to have around 20 per cent less cortisol, the stress hormone, in their bloodstream.”
Anna believes that kindness is the new mindfulness and says that living “kindfully” can reap rewards – whether you are being kind to yourself, or to others.
“It’s about cultivating a way to support yourself and others,” she says. Here Anna reveals 10 ways to add kindness to your life.
1 FIND YOUR WHY
“If you want to establish a kindfulness practice and keep it going day after day, you have to have a sense of why it’s important,” says Anna.
Try a writing meditation. Set a timer for five minutes and write: “I want to be kind because…”. Start jotting down your thoughts, right. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar. When the timer goes off read what you’ve written.What resonates? How does reading your inner thoughts make you feel?
2 CREATE A DAILY INTENTION
“Setting the intention of being kind every day will help it become a habit,” explains Anna. “You may want to be less judgmental of others, or yourself, or create a daily intention to be kinder to strangers or loved ones.
“Remember, change takes time so decide on one intention and keep it going for at least seven days. Let go of any expectations about the outcome, instead focus on the intention.”
3 NOURISH IN NATURE
Anna says: “Spending time outdoors is a great way to be kind to yourself mentally as well as physically.As well as lifting your mood, connecting with the sky, the landscape and the weather is a great way of gaining perspective and seeing the bigger picture.”
Turn off your phone and take a walk outdoors. Notice the sounds of nature, breathe in the scents and tune into your body. Make this walk a part of your routine. “If you revisit the same place throughout the year, you will notice the subtle changes that occur as the seasons change.You’ll also notice how your experience is in flux the same way – helping you cope with change in your life,” adds Anna.
4 MAKE A DATE WITH YOURSELF
“It’s easy to get caught up in life and not make time for yourself,” says Anna. “Think about what activity you enjoy and schedule a date with yourself at least once a week. “Protect this time – make sure those close to you understand how important it is so they support you. In turn, you can support them doing something they enjoy.”
5 PAY IT FORWARD
“This encourages ripples of kindness to spread outwards.The principle is simple: when you show a stranger kindness, rather than expecting them to pay you back, you encourage people to pay kindness forward,” explains Anna.
You could try offering to help a stranger with their bags if they’re struggling, opening a door for someone or offering your train seat to a stranger.
6 SPIRIT OF APPRECIATION
Anna says: “When you appreciate someone let them know, be it in your workplace or with family and friends.”
Keep your compliments genuine and give them when they’re deserved. “Deliver the appreciation however you wish: a phone call, text or card and see what happens.”
7 LEARN TO ACCEPT KINDNESS
“Many people find it easier to offer kindness rather than accept it for themselves,” says Anna. “However, it’s important to give yourself opportunities to be open to kindness from others.
“If a person does something for you that isn’t what you would have done yourself, remind yourself of their good intentions rather than being judgemental.”
8 LISTEN DEEPLY
“Sometimes listening in silence is the greatest kindness you can give to someone. Much of the time we’re with others we may be present but our attention is somewhere else,” says Anna.
“Set yourself the intention of giving someone your full attention. Listen to what’s being said, without jumping in to fix it or to give advice. Notice how the communication improves.”
9 ENJOY WHAT YOU EAT
“Eating well is one of the easiest ways to offer kindness to your body but it’s also one of the easiest to forget,” says Anna.
“When we’re busy we grab fast food or if we’re feeling stressed we ‘treat ourselves’, so it can be helpful to notice your own eating
patterns.” Keep a food diary for a few days of what you eat and when. Experiment with being present when you eat, give your food all of your attention.
Savouring the experience means you will eat more slowly and have time to notice when you’re full.
10 BE KIND TO THE ENVIRONMENT
Anna says: “Everything we do impacts on the world around us: the clothes we wear, the goods we buy, the energy we consume and the way we travel. “While it can be tempting to think that what we do won’t make a difference, nothing will change until each of us takes responsibility.” Some simple ways to help the environment include using a re-useable travel mug, turning off lights when you leave a room, turning everything off when you go to bed, car sharing when possible or using public transport. If you have a garden, allow a small area of it to grow wild to help wildlife and don’t forget to put food and water out for the birds.
Interview by MONICA CAFFERKY