Weight problems? The first thing to lose is your shame
Feeling bad about your size may be sabotaging your attempts to shape up, says ELLEN WALLWORK
WANT to lose weight? Then take a few seconds to think about your body. Or take a long hard look in the mirror at yourself. That should be enough to get you started, shouldn’t it? Wrong.
The inner critic in you is more likely to sap confidence, leaving you feeling a failure – embarrassed you lack the willpower to stop eating, start moving and shed the pounds.
That’s the verdict of a new report from the British Psychological Society (BPS) which says feeling ashamed of our bodies – and being stereotyped as lazy or lacking self-control because of being overweight – could be making it harder to become healthier.
Our weight can be affected by a combination of factors, including genetics, responses to childhood trauma, a lack of available healthy food and sedentary lifestyles.
So while being overweight is caused by behaviour, those behaviours are not controlled by willpower (or a lack of it).
The report claims chastising those who have weight issues ultimately only leads to further weight gain.
Essentially, being stigmatised causes stress, which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt and failure.
And as many comfort eat, using food to distract, anaesthetise or soothe uncomfortable emotions, people end up trapped in a vicious cycle of weight gain and shame.
This is supported by another study from University College London, which found that experiencing fat shaming from those around you actually leads people to put on weight.
Dietitian and behaviour expert Tracy Kelly says: “Imagine trying to win at something when it feels like everyone and everything is telling you that you aren’t good enough. When a person hears that enough, they start to believe it.
“Deep down there may be a lack of belief losing weight is even possible. Learning to tame your inner critic will help change this trajectory.You can then start building new neural pathways to new habits.”
START LOOKING AFTER YOURSELF
So how can you tame your inner critic and break out of this cycle? Well, don’t be fooled into thinking that if obesity is not a choice, then your weight is out of your control.
In fact, Jane Ogden, professor in health psychology at the University of Surrey and author of The Psychology Of Dieting, believes that feeling like a victim of your biology, society, or the food industry can be just as bad for your self-esteem as fat stigma.
“You are not defined by your body weight,” she says. “You have body weight that you can manage and take control of.
“You shouldn’t feel ashamed of your weight but you should recognise the role of behaviour in your weight gain and then feel empowered that as an individual you can make choices that will help.
“If you’re feeling guilty or shameful because you’ve gained weight, you’re not going to feel deserving of self-care, so it’s going to be much harder for you to take that positive step to look after yourself.
“To make a change, you need to stop viewing healthy eating and exercise as something you should do to be a better person and instead start thinking about it as a form of self-care, which you deserve because you are a good person.”
TACKLING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Just as the criticism from others can make negative thoughts about your weight worse, positive input could help change your thought patterns, says Dr Angel Chater, one of the authors of the British Psychological Society report.
“If eating less and moving more was a simple matter, we wouldn’t have the current obesity levels,” she says. “There is good evidence that speaking to a psychologist can help those living with obesity. It is vital that conversations are centred on the person, without a sense of
judgment. Psychologists can help to understand the factors that lead to overeating, what is eaten, when and how much. They can understand barriers to regular physical activity and influences on sitting too much.”
This view is echoed by Dr Helen McCarthy, a consultant clinical psychologist who explores weight loss without dieting in her new book How To Retrain Your Appetite.
She believes you’re most likely to find talking to someone helpful if the reason you’re struggling with weight is related more to how you eat than what you eat.
“Psychologists can help bring an understanding of apparently self-defeating behaviours in terms of how and why they developed. Once this is understood, evidence-based strategies can be used to bring about change,” she says.
One strategy is very simple: talking to yourself as you would to a friend, rather than allowing your inner voice to be a bully.
TIME TO OPEN UP
Psychologists aren’t the only ones who can change the way you feel about weight, adds Jane. “It’s good to talk to friends, family and people around you.Talking, being open and sharing experiences is helpful.”
Seeking the support of others and being kinder to yourself may not seem like it would have as much impact as a punishing gym routine. But challenging negative thoughts can be the first step towards a healthier relationship with food.
“Your brightest self can emerge,” says Tracy. “Will it happen overnight? No. It takes consistency. When you believe you can, you have someone championing you and you are surrounded by a community who want you to succeed.”
● This feature is taken from January’s issue of Healthy Food Guide (stocked in supermarkets and WH Smith). see healthy food.co.uk for subscriptions.