Dad dying for human touch
CAROLINE SANDERSON reviews two inspirational medical memoirs
DEAR LIFE: A DOCTOR’S STORY OF LOVE AND LOSS ★★★★ by Rachel Clarke
Little, Brown, £16.99
IT TAKES courage to love the things of this world when all of them, without fail, are fleeting, fading, no more than a spark against the darkness of deep time.” Growing up, Rachel Clarke was riveted by her GP father’s stories of practising medicine.After burning out from a career in television documentary making, Clarke finally fulfilled her deep-seated desire to become a doctor herself. However, during her medical training, she became frustrated by the treatment of those patients for whom nothing more could be done. “Send her to the palliative dustbin,” said one colleague, of a patient dying of cancer. This shocking attitude galvanised Clarke into wanting to make a difference.
In this enthralling and deeply affecting
book, Clarke explains why she chose to become a specialist in palliative care, making the “ubiquitous business of human dying” her day job and in the process finding her true vocation.
She shares case histories of some of those she has cared for in their final weeks – the young woman putting on her make-up and finding joy in being outside in the sunshine; the dying grandfather revelling in his young grandson’s birthday party; the mother with terminal breast cancer who discovers a love of writing poetry – and shows us why she believes that this form of medicine is more uplifting and more meaningful than any other.
While these true-life tales from the NHS hospice bedside speak volumes about the meaning of a good death – “being held, heard and shown you matter” – what gives this book its beating heart is the story of Clarke’s beloved father who one day receives his own terminal diagnosis.
Then she too finds herself striving to find light and love and meaning amid the grief and pain of his decline.
It is this blend of the personal and professional that makes Dear Life so special.While the subject matter might appear terrifying, it’s hard to imagine anyone who would not benefit from reading this wise and tender book which succeeds in taking much of the fear out of something that will one day come to us all.