We’re living with cancer, not dying from it
Actress Shannen Doherty, 48, was petrified when diagnosed with secondary breast cancer. But while incurable, it does not mean giving up on life, as these women tell
I couldn’t sit around ...I had stuff to do
PETRINA BREALY, 49, lives with husband Stuart, 60, in Zeal Monachorum, Devon. She has two stepdaughters, Serena, 26, and Victoria, 21
When my consultant broke the news I had secondary breast cancer, the first thing I asked was whether I’d be able to go on holiday in six months’ time. I certainly didn’t expect to be here five years later – but here I am.
I noticed a dent in one of my breasts just before my 43rd birthday. I went to my GP but wasn’t worried as I’d had cysts in the past and had no history of breast cancer in my family.
But a couple of weeks later I was diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer, which meant I had one type of cancer in one breast and a different type in the other, and had surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
I went back to work as a pharmacist eight months later, but couldn’t settle into it. People talk about getting back to normal, but normal had changed – it really is a new normal. I was always looking over my shoulder, wondering if the cancer had really gone.
That winter I got a cough that didn’t clear up. Scans showed there was cancer in my lungs, sternum and spine.At first I felt that this was the end and I was dying. I thought: “I’m only 43 – is this it?”
But with time, a very supportive oncology team and help from Breast Cancer Now, I realised I couldn’t sit around thinking “I’ve got secondary breast cancer”. I had stuff to do.
I started simple – spending time with friends and going for nice walks. But my outlook changed. Instead of thinking, “I should do that”, it became “I will do that”.
Stuart proposed at the finish line of a Breast Cancer Now Pink Ribbon fundraising walk, and we married four months later.We bought a motorhome, I’ve modelled in a Breast Cancer Now fashion show and I recently played Prince Hal for a local theatre company production. I knew the director and phoned him for the role. There’s no way I’d have done it a few years ago – my diagnosis has given me courage. I’m officially terminally ill, but if you saw me in the street you wouldn’t know. What I’m on is life-prolonging treatment – for a good quality of life. I’m responding quite well to it.
To me, a secondary diagnosis means your long-term horizon is shorter than the next person’s.
But none of us know what’s going to happen. What I try to do is live my life well.
I like to think that I’m thriving with it
EMMA FISHER, 39, works in digital marketing. She lives with her partner, Jim, 41, in Sheffield
It was my dog who found the pea-sized lump between my breasts. He was clambering over me when I felt a sharp pain. I went to my GP, who sent me away saying at 35 I was too young to have breast cancer. Using private health care, I saw a second doctor a month later, who diagnosed me. It was a total shock as there was no history of cancer in my family.
I had surgery then chemotherapy and radiotherapy. When treatment finished, I was sure it was gone.
But when I went for a check-up a year later in November 2017, I mentioned to the doctor that I had pain when I breathed in. A scan revealed my sternum was full of cancer. For a few weeks I hoped it was a primary bone cancer rather than recurring breast cancer.The difference is a primary cancer is curable, but when it is secondary, there is treatment but no cure.
I was just 37 when I learned the
breast cancer had returned. I went straight back onto chemotherapy, as well as targeted hormone drugs, bonestrengthening and heart medication, as my cancer treatment was affecting my heart.
Doctors didn’t give me a prognosis because everyone is different. Luckily for me the chemo worked really well and the tumours shrank. I was stable for a year, but last September found out the cancer was growing again and I would need to change treatment.
The average life expectancy for secondary breast cancer is three to five years but there are women who live for 10 years or more. There’s no way of knowing, so I just think, “I’m going to smash those three to five years”. I went to Glastonbury last year – the first time I’ve been back since I was diagnosed.We went to a beer festival in Copenhagen and spent weekends in Amsterdam and Berlin.We also spent a week in the South of France where I was bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding. I’ve been snowboarding and sailing as well as eating in lots of Michelin-star restaurants. And I’m not done yet. I want to see penguins in the wild, explore Iceland and brew my own beer. I’m also campaigning to make sure women like me can access the right drugs on the NHS. Many people don’t understand what having secondary breast cancer means. They either think I’ll be cured or that I’m dying right now. In fact, my cancer is under control, but I will need treatment for the rest of my life.
I like to think I’m thriving with it – I’ve got this disease but right now I’m making the best of life.