Daily Express

Why it’s nice to be ever so naughty

- Vanessa Feltz

THERE’S a global pandemic so let’s talk about… Adele’s weight loss! Before your hackles rise – as mine did originally – and you bemoan the superficia­l folk taking time out of an internatio­nal emergency to hold forth on the significan­ce of the star’s seven-stone slimmathon, pause and rejoice.

This Adele hue and cry means we haven’t morphed into lockdown saints. That ongoing discussion about how coronaviru­s would “change us forever” has worried me: that we’d evaluate our priorities, abandon our sins, care for our neighbours more than ourselves and never again waste money on pricey coffee or having our toe-nails painted.

I can’t bear the thought of a world full of reformed characters, trudging along the path of virtue and renouncing fripperies. I quite liked us before. Yes, we may have been obsessed with “getting and spending”; yes we judged others by their shoes, cars or the hotness of their partners; yes, we jumped on planes to places in Europe we’d never heard of for £36 and had a ball when we got there – and what’s so terrible about that?

WE WERE flawed but fabulous, and I hope that when a vaccine is found, we’ll remain true to our gossipy, trivial, trite yet fascinatin­g selves. To this end I was heartened by the calls asking me to declaim on the subject of Adele’s newly svelte bod. It didn’t matter that I’ve only met her once – at Sid Owen’s birthday party, since you ask – or that she hasn’t confided her diet secrets in me, or that I have no idea about her route to slimness.

I’ve been a FFP (Famous Fat Person) for years. I’ve yo-yo dieted for Britain. I have shelled out for a gastric band (it didn’t work) and a gastric bypass (seems to be fab) so I’m the ultimate authority.

I am perplexed by those who insist that when a woman shifts a few pounds she’s letting down the sisterhood. We don’t gain weight as a statement of solidarity with other plus-size women.We grow larger for all sorts of complex, emotional, genetic and social reasons. If we make up our minds to shed some of it, our motivation­s are just as personal.

Here’s the thing: Adele looked sumptuous and scrumptiou­s before. She looks lithe and very happy now. I wish her the best of luck regardless of her shape and size, and I know that the fat and happy cliché is no more nonsensica­l that the thin and happy one.

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