BOSWORTH TRIED TO TAKE OWN LIFE AFTER LONDON WORLDS BID ‘BROKE’ HIM

SOMETIMES it can be failure on the biggest stage that triggers mentalhealth problems for a sportsman. British race walker Tom Bosworth, the world record-holder over one mile, can pinpoint the race that drove him to try to take his own life.

After a sixth-place finish at the Rio Olympics in 2016, Bosworth threw everything into the following year’s World Championships in

London. It was the dedication he thought he needed to succeed in front of his own fans.

But he found his tunnel vision taking him to a dark dead end after he was disqualified when leading the 20km race in the capital.

“It started a downward spiral of complete self-loathing,” said Bosworth, who collapsed on the road in tears after being shown three red cards for technique infractions. “If athletes aren’t careful our race becomes our be-all and end-all. It defines us.

“It had come to a perfect peak on the streets of London and then it went spectacularly wrong on the Sunday afternoon live on television.

“It broke me because that was all I had been building for over that year – longer really. I felt like I’d let a hell of a lot of people down and that I wasn’t worthy.”

With race walking being his entire world, the clouds came

rolling in for Britain’s only openly gay male track-and-field athlete.

“It started a winter where I didn’t want to train, I started drinking, I didn’t come home, I didn’t see Harry, my fiance, I didn’t care about anything and I certainly didn’t care about myself,” he said.

“I was going from competition to competition not addressing anything else, not happy in anything I was doing. It led to a point where I found myself trapped. I didn’t know what I wanted to do because there wasn’t anything else.

“I didn’t enjoy athletics, I was ruining my relationships with my family and my friends, and it took me to a point of wanting to take my own life – and on a couple of occasions I tried.

“I look back now and I don’t even feel like I was the same person that’s sitting here talking about this.

“It really is something that takes over your mind completely and all of it I can see stemming back to that moment in 2017 when I was disqualified.”

It was his partner Harry who finally persuaded him to seek help and the work he has done since with a psychiatrist has transformed Bosworth’s outlook on life.

“I feel like I’m over the worst pretty much and have safety nets in place, but it was 18 months of a long, long learning curve,” he told UK Sport’s Medals & More podcast. He now says it is imperative other athletes have a more balanced view on life.

“Younger, developing athletes should be encouraged to do other things because throughout the whole period I had nothing else,” he said.

“Now I’m committed to training the way I was before but I also care about Harry, my dog and my home life.

“I can go flog myself in training but if it goes wrong it doesn’t matter because I come home to a really healthy environment.”