Why this’ll be our best Father’s Day ever
Three dads tell ELIZABETH ARCHER about the challenges they have faced to be able to celebrate with their families on Sunday
I’m finally able to walk with my kids
LEE CHAMBERS, 35, a wellbeing consultant at essentialise.co.uk, lives with his wife Louise, 36, a teacher, in Wilpshire, Lancashire, and children Myles, seven, and Annabel, five
THIS Father’s Day, I’m looking forward to a walk in the woods with my family. While it might not sound like much, for me it is extra special. That’s because it’s not long ago that I spent Father’s Day lying in a hospital bed, unable to move.
My problems started six years ago when my wrist suddenly swelled up. Initially I wrote it off, thinking I’d been typing too much.
Yet a few days later, my knee swelled up and then my shoulder.
I went to my GP, who gave me some steroids but a couple of days later I was unable to move so was rushed to A&E. I was diagnosed with autoimmune arthritis, meaning my body was attacking the connective tissue in my joints as if it was a virus.
I was told I’d be in hospital for a month.At the time, Louise was six months pregnant and Myles was just 18 months old.
I was eventually discharged from hospital but I was incredibly weak and could only walk a few tentative steps with a walking frame. When our daughter Annabel was born, I held her in my arms and vowed that by the time she took her first steps, I’d be walking again. Determined to get better, I spent months doing painful physiotherapy exercises.
Finally, nearly a year after I was hospitalised, I was able to walk for a short period. Soon afterwards, I was with Annabel as she took her first steps too. Now, after five years of taking immunosuppressant drugs, I’m managing my arthritis with diet, rest and exercise. It means this Father’s Day will be my first when I’m not on medication and feel truly fit and healthy.
As we set off on Sunday, I’ll be especially grateful that my children and I can walk side by side.
It can be tough as a single dad of three
SIMON NEWBY, 56, a consultant, lives in Manchester with his three children Jake, 16, Evie, 13, and nine-year-old Leo
IF YOU’D told me this time last year I’d be looking forward to
Father’s Day, I wouldn’t have believed you.
Just over a year ago, everything turned upside down when my wife and I separated. Our three children chose to live with me and although I was overjoyed by their choice, being a single dad can be tough.
Suddenly all the tasks my wife and I had shared had to be done by me and with only one income instead of two, I had to make money go further.
What’s more, the children and I have had to adjust to life without her – she now lives more than 100 miles away and sees the children a few days a month. I’ve faced a lot of prejudice as a single dad. People are often amazed I can cook and clean. When I pick up my youngest from school, I’m one of the few dads and my daughter’s secondary school sometimes rings her mum if they need to discuss concerns, despite the fact she lives with me.
A few months ago, I joined an app called Frolo (frolo.com), which is a community of single parents.
They host meet-ups all over the country and since lockdown have held virtual ones. It’s great to talk to other dads facing the same challenges as me.
We talk about everything from dealing with lawyers to how the children are getting on at school.
This Father’s Day, there will be a virtual meet-up for single dads from all over the country and I’m excited to join in.
It isn’t the way I thought I’d be spending Father’s Day but things are getting better every day.
I struggled to bond with my daughters DAVE OLDACRE, 36, a website manager, lives in Wakefield with his wife Louise, 40, a healthcare worker and daughters Imogen, four, and two-year-old Paisley
AS I watch my daughters play this Father’s Day, I’ll feel like the luckiest dad in the world. Not so long ago, that wouldn’t have been the case. For a long time, I struggled to bond with my girls.
When my wife was pregnant with Imogen, I couldn’t wait to become a dad.Yet when she finally arrived, I felt I was going through the motions and couldn’t connect.
Imogen was born by emergency C-section and spent a few days in an incubator.As Louise recovered from the surgery, I switched into practical mode when we got home, feeding Imogen, putting her down for naps and cooking food. It was tough but I felt it was my job to be the backbone of the family.
Although I loved Imogen, I didn’t feel like we had a natural connection. Our second daughter Paisley was born premature and needed to be in an incubator.
When we brought her home I hoped my natural instincts as a father would kick in but they didn’t. I didn’t confide in anyone about my concerns as I felt it was my job as a dad to be strong.
Then one day, while I was away for work, I realised I’d been seeing time with my daughters as a series of practical tasks, rather than something to enjoy and cherish.
At the weekend, for example, I’d clear out the garage rather than play with them. I was determined to do things differently.
I opened up to Louise. It felt good to be honest about how I was feeling and that it was something we could work on together.
Now, we go out on day trips and enjoy more time together as a family. Over the months my bond with the girls has strengthened through talking and not being afraid to be open with Louise.
I’ve watched our girls grow into unique little people and feel I’ve finally relaxed into my role as a father. I can’t wait to spend the day with them on Sunday.