Shout out’s a non-starter
ICAN’T say I’m terribly inspired by the new shouty bit they’ve done for the intro of CELEBRITY MASTERCHEF, returning tonight for another run (BBC1, 9pm).
“Shake those pans, light those stoves!” cries co-host John Torode, “What we want is...one champion...”
The first part isn’t so bad, I’ll give him that (although, if we’re being picky, I’m not sure why the pans would need shaking before the stoves have been lit, if indeed they need shaking at all).
But then it kind of fizzles out, as if the scriptwriter ran out of ideas or had a bus to catch. “Shake those pans, light those stoves... make some... er...oh, I dunno, make some fancy food or whatever .... ”
It’s hardly “cooking doesn’t get tougher than this!” is it?
But anyway, yes, the show itself is back, that’s what matters. MasterChef’s celebrity version.
It’s the one that co-host GreggWallace once told me (in an interview, I mean, it’s not like we’re mates or anything) was his favourite, and I can see why that is.
Mind you, it’s also the version he happened to be promoting at the time, so it would have been a bit weird if he’d said: “Actually, Mike, this is rubbish compared to the one we do with the normal people...”
So who are this year’s famous participants? I knew you’d ask me that.
And would you mind if I didn’t list the whole lot, or we’ll be here all day? Thank you.
But I’m happy to say they include Myles Stephenson, Thomas Skinner, Judi Love, John Barnes and Shyko Amos, because those are the first five into the kitchen.
And I’m also happy to predict that every viewer who looks at those names will single out at least one they’ve never heard of.
That’s what happens whenever we’re shown the line-ups for celebrity reality shows.
But the person I’ve never heard of may well be a household name to you, and vice-versa, so it’s no big deal.
Thomas Skinner, by the way, is the pillow salesman who came seventh on the last series of The Apprentice, in case you happen to be taking notes on how to acquire celebrity status yourself.
Elsewhere, BBC2 is repeating MARVELLOUS (9pm), which is indeed marvellous news. It’s a feature-length drama that was first shown, oh good Lord, six years ago, how scary is that, with Toby Jones in the leading role.
Written by Peter Bowker, it’s the beautifully uplifting story of Neil Baldwin, a chap who was diagnosed in childhood with special needs but who’s gone on to enjoy the most extraordinary life, from circus clown to Stoke City kit man, and made friends with celebrities, sports stars and royalty alike.