Nuff to drive one to drink

NICE – the not so nice National Institute for Health and Care Excellence – wants a record kept of mums- to- be who’ve had just ONE alcoholic drink during pregnancy. They also want to know what they drunk in the weeks before conceiving.

And what exactly are they going to do with this information – sling them in jail, march them off to AA? I’m sorry but this is a gross invasion of privacy and smacks of demonising women for no good reason.

NICE says it’s to help detect FASD – foetal alcohol spectrum disorder. The fact is most women drink little or no alcohol during pregnancy – fewer than three per cent have more than ONE unit a week by the 12th week of gestation and there’s no evidence that low- level drinking harms a baby.

This is the nanny state gone mad. The vast majority of women are 100 per cent responsible during pregnancy and the ones who aren’t will never admit to drinking anything. All this will do is put a black mark on decent women’s medical records which could be used against them at a later date.

SASHA Swire, the wife of former minister Hugo Swire, whose titillating memoirs, Diary of an MP’s Wife, give a blisteringly indiscreet peep into the lives of the political elite says that old pal Dave Cameron once told her not to walk in front of him because “the scent you’re wearing makes me want to push you into the bushes and give you one”.

Ladies, we urgently need to know the name of that scent so we can all steer clear of it. Who wants to be a sex magnet for pudgy- faced married men whose idea of a romance is giving you one in the bushes. Dinner first at least!

As for Ms Swires – her treachery in betraying the secrets of her so- called friends makes me glad I’m an oik.

FORMER home secretary Jacqui Smith, 57, who’s been tipped to come last in Strictly, is having her costumes fitted this week: “I’m hoping they can make me look very, very slim,” she says.

They’re dressmakers Jacqui luv, not miracle workers!