Daily Express

I’m not laughing at joker Hancock

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I’ M going to go out on a limb here and say the majority of people won’t stick to the Government’s three- tier restrictio­ns. And I suspect the major reason will be because most simply don’t understand them. Reading stuff is my job. Every day I read at least five newspapers and I soak in as much informatio­n as I can about what’s in them. But, for the life of me, I don’t want to/ can’t be bothered to/ am totally incapable of assimilati­ng the details of the three- tier system.

The minute I start focusing on the minutiae my eyes start to glaze over like they do when I’m reading the instructio­ns for a new microwave or how to assemble an Ikea shoe rack. My brain just won’t take it in. And if mine won’t I’m guessing yours won’t either. But even if we did understand it, this system simply won’t work.

First, because if full lockdown didn’t work, why should a partial one? And second, because it’s confusing, complicate­d and people are sick to death of authoritar­ian crackdowns that are having zero impact on infections or death rates and are simply delaying the inevitable. They’re also sick of a flounderin­g Government that is using exactly the same strategy to fight the virus that it used six months ago. It didn’t work then ( it only suppressed it) so why would it work now? Einstein’s definition of insanity was to keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result.

Yet that’s what this Government is doing and condemning millions to joblessnes­s, homelessne­ss and poverty in the process. And talking about insanity, why hasn’t Matt Hancock been fired? Everything this blinkered, uninformed lightweigh­t has touched has turned to horse manure. He’s presided over the carehome crisis, the PPE shortage and the shambolic test- and- trace system. Yet still, he’s dictating policy on a virus he’s been exposed this week as knowing nothing about.

I suspect he’s still in the job because the Government will need a scapegoat when it starts looking at the totally avoidable cockups during this crisis. But that’s no excuse for leaving this joke of a health secretary in charge of the NHS in the midst of a pandemic.

Not enough that he made a complete fool of himself in the Commons this week by dismissing the opinions of the 35,000 scientists and doctors who’d signed the Great Barrington Declaratio­n which advocates herd immunity.

He then went on to proclaim herd immunity didn’t work because we’d failed to attain it against diseases like measles, flu and malaria. Er, no we didn’t. We have herd immunity against influenza and measles. And what the hell’s malaria got to do with the price of eggs? It’s spread by mosquitoes and doesn’t carry respirator­y infections like Covid does.

Why is a man so stupid still in charge of the NHS? Why is someone so ignorant of the facts, still refusing to entertain emerging ideas about how to deal with this virus and insisting on being guided by those twin twonks, Whitty and Valance. These idiots have reduced science to a

THERE’S a job I desperatel­y want. It’s at the Lanark- based company Border Biscuits, which is looking for a Chief Biscuit Taster who will get £ 40,000 a year and a free online exercise programme. A spokesman says the person, who wins the title Master Biscuiteer, will also need skills in “strong relationsh­ip building, influencin­g, leadership and coaching”. Yeah, yeah whatever – just let me at the biscuits...

SANNA Marin, Finland’s stunning 34- year- old PM has caused a bit of stir by posing bra- less in Trendia, the country’s leading fashion magazine. The outspoken feminist is wearing just a suit jacket with nothing underneath and the curve of her breasts is barely visible. It’s all very tasteful but it hasn’t stopped the narks screaming that it erodes her credibilit­y blah blah blah…

I think Ms Marin looks lovely but let’s hope it’s a trend that doesn’t catch on here. Just the thought of a bra- less Theresa May, Diane Abbott or Emily Thornberry would require more counsellin­g than any of us could ever afford!

WHY eight months after his weeping revelation on national TV that he’s gay is Phillip Schofield STILL talking about coming out, still talking about his anguish, his pain etc?

Aaah yes, he’s got a book to promote and money to make!

series of wild guesses and I wouldn’t trust them to get me across the road never mind through a pandemic. Why is he being allowed to push Britain to the edge of the financial abyss by screaming for more lockdowns which will decimate entire communitie­s?

Dr David Nabarro, of the World Health Organisati­on, says, “Lockdowns have just one consequenc­e that you must never belittle – they make poor people an awful lot poorer.”

So why is Boris allowing Hancock, Whitty and Valance to do exactly that?

 ?? Pictures: TRENDI, REUTERS, GETTY ??
Pictures: TRENDI, REUTERS, GETTY

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