Hitch in rake’s progress

AUTUMN arrives, our lawns become a sea of fallen leaves. Will that be yet another problem for troubled newlyweds Shareen and David

MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT

in

( C4, 9.15pm)?

It sounds that way, as Shareen tells her daughters of another upsetting thing she’s learnt about this new husband of hers, chosen by the show’s expert matchmakers. “He doesn’t believe in raking…” she sighs.

Even when it emerges that my ears need cleaning and she’s actually saying “reiki” – as in the laying- on of hands for energy healing – it’s obvious Shareen and David are worlds apart.

“He doesn’t believe in reiki and my spirituality,” is what she says. Her daughters feel her pain. “Your belief system is the complete opposite,” suggests one.

Meanwhile, our other pair, Michelle and Owen, haven’t yet had time to compare belief systems, as they’re busy lugging their gear into the house they’ll be sharing in Brighton.

And then lugging it out again, 48 hours later.

Not because they’ve already decided they can’t stand the sight of one another but because the whole country is going into lockdown ( this bit was filmed at the end of March) and they want somewhere bigger if they’re going to get through it together.

Compatibility- wise, they do seem to have learnt to accept each other’s quirks.

Considering they’ve known each other for just a week, this bodes well. At least, I think it does.

Owen thinks Michelle is “very emotion- driven” whereas he is “very logic- based”.

For the record, it’s Owen who’s insisted on bringing to the marital home his childhood teddy bear and a model dinosaur.

Before that, it’s pastry week in THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF ( C4, 8pm). And the first challenge? Cornish pasties.

“I want to eat the best pasties I’ve ever had,” insists judge Prue Leith. But she can’t, because she’s not allowed to leave the tent and drive to Cornwall, so she’ll have to settle for whatever the contestants knock up.

And she doesn’t look too impressed with what Lottie’s making. They’re toad- in- the- hole pasties, to be filled with sausage, mash and onion gravy.

Noel thinks they’ll be lovely, but Noel’s not a judge so he doesn’t count.

Prue, who is, sounds wary. “It could be really stodgy or soggy,” she warns.

Still, she does add some kind words as she leaves Lottie’s bench. “You are always original,” she tells her, “I have hope if not faith…”

Lottie, who survived last week by the skin of her teeth, is grateful.

“I’m going to take that with me,” she says. “Home, probably, but I’m still going to take it.”