New life in the slow lane
I’ VE been taking a peek at tonight’s episode of SARAH BEENY’S NEW LIFE IN THE COUNTRY ( Channel 4, 8pm), the series, remember, where “Britain’s favourite property expert”, like that’s an actual thing, is embarking on precisely one of those – a new life, I mean – with husband Graham and their kids.
This being episode four, and episodes two and three having somehow fallen off my must- watch list, I figured it was time I looked in on them again, to make sure this big project of theirs – to quit city life and build themselves a new house on an old Somerset dairy farm – was on course. So, yes, I’ve done that. And can you guess how far it turns out they’ve got? “Today we start the dig!” Sarah announces. “I’m so excited. This is brilliant!”
Yes, start it. In episode four. No disrespect, but what in heaven’s name have they been playing at? Three weeks ago, when we saw them embark on this mission, this land of theirs was just a soggy field. And now? Now it’s still just a soggy field.
And yes, I do appreciate these things can’t be rushed, that there’s planning permission to be sought and setbacks to face and many hurdles to overcome and blah- blah, but I mean, really? Is this series going to be unfolding in real time, dwelling on every tortuous detail? If that’s the case we’ll be here till Lord knows when. Sir David Attenborough, don’t let us forget, managed to squeeze the whole of Life On Earth into 13 weeks.
To be fair ( oh, must I?), this isn’t just the saga of a house- build. “As well as building their dream home,” we’re reminded, “Sarah and Graham’s plan is to have a business they can set up and run from the farm.”
Cheesemaking? Tried it. Cider? Ditto. But this week it’s the kids who have an idea. They want to open a petting zoo.
“What sort of animals do you think we should have?” Sarah asks them.
“I think we should have a couple of tigers,” comes the reply. “And maybe a bat.”
The children also want polar bears, hawks, koalas, sloths and a lion. Sarah warns them this is probably never going to happen.
But ten- year- old Laurie has other plans, insisting, “I’m going to prove you wrong!”
Stick to that promise and I’ll carry on watching after all.
Elsewhere, as we continue this year’s GREAT BRITISH
CHRISTMAS MENU ( BBC2, 8pm), may I just say how delighted I am to see the fabulous Andi Oliver, previously a judge, now in the role of presenter?
This promotion, I trust, has earned her a suitably generous pay rise. And a suitably generous pay rise means Andi can finally stop wearing those flipping glasses on the top of her head and invest in a pair of varifocals.