PM losing grip on class of 2020
RREMEMBER that sad teacher you had at school? You know, the one that slowly but surely lost control of the classroom? Authority slipping away day by day, week by week, until they were a hopeless, babbling wreck, fear in their eyes and uncertainty in their voice. You almost felt sorry for them as you chucked your paper darts, arm- wrestled your neighbour and chatted noisily with a mate sitting five desks away.
This Government is increasingly like that teacher. Our early obedience over Covid is evaporating. As I wrote here the other week, this second lockdown was a national pretend lockdown: a detention where half the class didn’t show up. Shops that shut during the first lockdown stayed stubbornly open; millions made plainly non- essential journeys – the roads were jammed – parks were packed and high streets thronged. Less a lockdown; more a great escape.
I say Government: I really mean Michael Gove. What’s happened to him? How did this intelligent, sharp, acutely- expressed, former journalist ( Gove was a newspaperman, a reporter for BBC TV, and latterly, assistant editor of The Times; his wife is a formidable newspaper columnist) turn into this apology for a communicator?
My jaw hit the carpet last week when I read Gove’s latest, ludicrous lecture to the misbehaving class. Desperate threats, just like that flailing teacher. Every hospital in England would be overwhelmed if
rebellious MPs didn’t get behind the tier system. A system that was “grimly, inevitably necessary”.
How we laughed at the back of the class. “Overwhelmed”? Really? With coronavirus cases steadily dropping and hospital ICUs quieter than this time last year? C’mon, sir!
“Inevitably”? Seriously? Thanet catches a Covid cold, so the whole of Kent has to effectively quarantine? Pubs, restaurants, the whole infrastructure of local communities and economies smashed by pointless, draconian restrictions? Do us a favour, sir!
I heard Gove on TalkRadio’s breakfast show this week, being given a roasting by its inestimable host, Julia Hartley- Brewer. Challenging him on the nonsense over restrictions on pubs in tier two – they can serve drinks, but only to patrons sitting down to a meal – she asked him if he understands that
most people in pubs sit down anyway these days, meal or not.
Quite how would the virus distinguish between diners and non- diners? Faced with burbling non- answers, Hartley- Brewer suggested that Gove might not have seen the inside of a pub for some time. He claimed to have, er, watched a soccer match in one recently, but declined to name the hostelry in question. Hmm.
Even the headmaster is wobbling. The PM’s authority was shaken as more than 50 of his MPs gave the thumbs- down to the new one- twothree tier system. ( Actually, not so much of the one, eh?) Boris has been forced to promise an early review and other compromises.
Class is about to be let out for Christmas. Most of them will behave pretty much as they like. After the holidays, I wouldn’t bet against that being the new normal.