SAID AND DONE: PETER’S PEARLS

“SHE is probably thinking, ‘ If this goes in I get a new kitchen’.”

– At the 2015 Open, as cameras focused on winner Zach Johnson’s wife Kim.

“If somebody wants to join, well you’d better get married to somebody who’s a member.”

– In 2016, when asked about women joining Muirfield.

“What on earth are you doing? He’s gone ga- ga. To attempt to hit the ball out of there is pure madness.”

– His incredible description of Frenchman Jean van de Velde throwing away a three- shot lead on the final hole of the 1999 Open Championship at Carnoustie.

“Looks a bit like Jurassic Park in there.”

– Describing the rough on the 14th at Royal St George’s, which hosted the 2003 Open.

“One of the good things about rain in Scotland is that most of it ends up as scotch.”

– On poor weather conditions during a tournament in Scotland.

“5, 5, 5, 4, 7… It’s like the dialling code for Tierra del Fuego.”

– Alliss describing the opening five holes of Duffy Waldorf in the second round of the 2002 Open.

“It’s like turning up to hear Pavarotti sing and finding out he has laryngitis.”

– On Tiger Woods’ third- round 81, then the worst of his pro career, at the 2002 Open Championship at Muirfield, which ruined his chances of a third successive Major.

.... And at the 2013 Open, Alliss spotted his wife Jackie in the crowd at Muirfield and cheerily referred to her on air as “the rottweiler with lip gloss”.

Mrs Alliss later revealed it was a nickname she gave herself and defended her husband after letters from women’s groups and magazines complaining.