The festive drama queen
ONE way in which Queen Elizabeth II differs quite significantly from Queen Elizabeth I – and it has to be said our monarch differs from her Tudor namesake in a number of respects, which is probably a good thing if the latter’s behaviour on series two of Blackadder is anything to go by – is in her attitude to Christmas presents.
By all accounts, Her modern- day Majesty and the rest of our current royals don’t go in for extravagant, show- offy gifts.
They famously go for quite the opposite, exchanging the daftest items they can get their hands on. Prince Harry ( remember, him?), for example, reportedly once gave the Queen a shower cap, with ‘ Ain’t Life A B*** h?’ printed on it. On reflection, mind you, this may have carried a greater significance than implied at the time.
Queen Elizabeth I, on the other hand, apparently adored fancy
Christmas prezzies, at least if historian Tracy Borman, presenter of CHRISTMAS AT HAMPTON COURT ( C5, 9pm), is to be believed, which I’m sure she is.
In fact, according to Tracy, Elizabeth adored them in abundance. By which I mean she received literally thousands – and I use the word “literally” here to mean “literally” – presented to her in a formal and exhaustingly long ceremony.
She also made it perfectly clear, Tracy adds, that the higher your rank, the more you were expected to splash out.
It’s reasonable to assume, then, that if you gave Queen Elizabeth
I a shower cap for Christmas – even one without a comedy slogan on it – she would not be best pleased.
Exactly how she’d react I couldn’t say for sure, but I’d imagine that a shower cap, or indeed any other item of headgear, is something you’d henceforth find surplus to your own requirements...
Elsewhere, just six chefs remain as we enter finals week in MASTERCHEF: THE PROFESSIONALS ( BBC1, 9pm). And it’s getting brutal.
They begin tonight with the final invention test, for which they’re split in half ( as a group, I mean, not individually, the brutality doesn’t go quite that far...) and asked to cook off in teams.
First up, it’s rabbit in a mustard sauce – for which they must use the whole rabbit.
Personally, I’d have only two minor issues if asked to prepare that myself. The first would be the ‘ rabbit’ element. The second would be that ominous word ‘ whole’.
Also tonight, a new two- parter, THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF: THE WINNERS ( C4, 8pm), begins by going way back, recalling the contest’s first five champs.
Episode two, even more handily, will remind me who the heck won it 12 months ago.