Boot Euro 2020 into the long grass

WHAT the hell is Boris thinking by offering to host the postponed Euro 2020 tournament here? We’ve just spent a year living under the most draconian restrictions.

Our captivity has been made worse by over-cautious scientists who want us imprisoned and masked forever. Even now that deaths and infections are in freefall, Boris still refuses to hasten our escape from lockdown, which means we won’t be fully free until June 21.

Yet despite all that, from June 11 he wants to fling open our doors to tens of thousands of football fans from countries where only the tiniest percentage of the population have had the jab. Currently the average vaccination rate across the whole of the EU is just 7.5 per cent.

Sir Geoff Hurst says we should recreate the spirit of ’66 by bringing “football home”. Sounds lovely. But all that’ll be coming “home” are shedloads of infected footie fans.

ROSIE HUNTINGTONWHITELEY has been moaning about her post-baby body, her wrinkles and the fact that “things just don’t sit where they used to”. Oh do shut up, luv. You know you’ve got the perfect body. We know it. You’re just rubbing our noses in it.

ALICE EVANS has launched a blistering attack on Ioan Gruffudd, the husband who came home one day after 13 years of marriage and said, “I don’t love you any more.”

The devastated actress reckons there’s another woman involved in her husband’s bombshell demand for a divorce. I suspect she’s right. Blokes rarely walk out on a wife and two kids to be alone. They’re usually led out of their marriage by a younger, prettier, chic-er model whose looks and beauty have never been affected by having to raise his kids, keep house or put their career on hold while his goes into orbit.

Which I’ll bet is exactly what’s happened here.