Football’s only goal is money

YOU know how people say never talk about something you don’t know about?

Well, I’ve made a living out of it and I’m afraid I can’t really resist sticking my oar in about this flipping football fiasco.

I don’t follow football as I’ve never really been that interested in spectator sport, but I know lots of people do and most of the arguments seem to go back to their memories of the old days, whatever that means, and how this new Super League would have killed off the little clubs.

I thought they had already gone but one thing I don’t understand is how the grossly overpaid guys get so much.

Because, let’s face it, the girls don’t get paid anywhere near as much. There’s no parity in football.

Football is an entertainment business, not a sport. So let’s not confuse the two. And the stars want to get as much as they can but the amount of money all these guys seem to get is unbelievable.

Apparently it’s our national sport. I couldn’t care less.

Leave them to it and if you don’t like it or what they’re doing don’t watch it. Easily solved.

OH dear. Nanny has just phoned. I had to hold the phone away from my ear as she was screaming like a banshee.

I wondered what was going on. Somebody must surely have had a catastrophe. In fact they had, but it was hedgehogs she is worried about – and rightly so.

I love hedgehogs but apparently there is an epidemic of nutty gardeners with electric strimmers. Those prats like to have stripey lawns and then go round the edges in the long grass with a strimmer. Nanny tells me there have been several cases of hedgehogs with severe facial injuries as a result of the stupid strimming brigade.

You might want your garden looking pristine, but spare a thought for our little prickly friends doing the gardeners an enormous amount of good eating the slugs.

Remember: check, check, check before you cut.