I don’t bank on a great holiday

TODAY’S a Bank Holiday! But what is it really? May Day or just an excuse for a day off work?

I’m working tonight but after the imprisonment of lockdown over the last year, lots of us would love to get out and dance around a maypole.

But if memory serves me, Bank Holidays are actually the best days to spend indoors. Everywhere is always packed. Yet I fancy a trip to the garden centre, or if the weather is good, dusting down the barbie and slapping on a shoulder of lamb.

Or perhaps a trip to the seaside. The only trouble is that it’s as if we’ve been on one long Bank Holiday over the last year.

Maybe the term “Bank Holiday” needs changing, not least as the banks seem permanently to be on holiday.

But whatever you’re doing – have a great time.

I WAS a Remainer who was converted by my friend Nanny and I’m now a committed Brexiteer. So I’m so glad the European Empire has seen the light and ratified the trade agreement with the UK.

What I’m not so happy about is the idiots in Brussels talking in such a disparaging way about the UK. They must know that they are heading towards the end game and that their little European Empire is crumbling.

The nations of the European Union all increasingly wish to go their own way. We don’t need Ursula and Michel telling us we made a mistake and looking sad.

What they’re really sad about is the billions of pounds they will no longer be getting from the British people.

So whoopie do. As for all you Remainers out there – you’ve lost! So either shut up or get with the programme.