I felt unworthy to be Bowie’s friend… even on holiday, he made me anxious
The music star on his inferiority complex, the male ego, and his latest, very surprising, addiction
HE IS the musical pioneer who sold 20 million albums after combining long-forgotten blues tracks with dance music on his seminal 1999 record Play. Bringing vintage songs back to life with inventive sampling techniques, Moby created a sensational mix of old and new that made his music the soundtrack to the early noughties.
His hits appeared on countless adverts and made their creator a globally famous multi-millionaire.
He became friends with David Bowie and other superstars and went on to headline Glastonbury in 2003, but his career was eventually derailed by his crippling drink and drug addiction and a party lifestyle.
Even when he found global success, Moby felt inferior to his idols – especially Bowie, who was his neighbour in New York for four years from 1999 when they lived across the road from one another.
Moby recalled: “The first job I ever had, at 13, was as a caddy at a fancy golf course. I only worked there long enough to afford two David Bowie albums I desperately wanted. I think he’s the greatest musician of all time, so when he suddenly became my neighbour, I just spent every second we were together desperately trying to be normal.”
The late Ziggy Stardust icon and Moby toured and even holidayed together, but now he admits: “I felt anxious the whole time with David, as I wanted to fall on the floor and say, ‘I’m not worthy’.
“We were friends, but I was disingenuous, because I never once let David know how much reverence I have for him. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by telling him that, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself.”
He said previously: “We would wave at each other from our balconies. I would go to the deli to buy soy milk and oats and he and Iman would be in there buying oranges and coffee.They were my neighbourhood pals.
“It started to seem normal, but at the back of my mind I never forgot the fact that David Bowie was a demigod and a genius and the best musician who will ever live.”
The musician has talked in the past about not liking to meet his heroes, once revealing how he’d turned down the chance to meet Neil Young, explaining: “I was at a party in LA and Neil Young was there, and someone asked me if I wanted to meet him. I declined because I was afraid that I would catch him on a bad day, and he wouldn’t be very nice to me, and I would then lose 20 of my favourite songs of all time.
“I’d rather not meet my heroes and be able to hold on to my favourite pieces of music. With David Bowie, becoming good friends with him actually made me love his music more because he was such a remarkable man.”
Real name Richard Hall, Moby’s alias derives from being a direct descendant of Herman Melville, author of the iconic 1851 novel Moby Dick.
Despite this glorious literary ancestor, Moby grew up in poverty. His father James died when the musician was just two in a drink-drive crash, leaving mother Elizabeth to raise her son as a single parent in Connecticut.
Elizabeth dated a succession of bad, sometimes violent, boyfriends and Moby escaped into making music. Before his first hit Go in 1991, Moby squatted in an abandoned warehouse.
He revealed: “I was as broke as anyone in the Western world could be, living with no running water or toilet. I lived in the middle of a crack neighbourhood. But the other neighbourhoods nearby were opulent, so everyone in our district felt like 11th class citizens.”
WHERE once Moby took drugs, now he has a more wholesome vice: he can’t stop watching cute animal videos. He blushed: “To my great shame, one of my vices now is scrolling through stupid videos on TikTok. I have no business doing that. I don’t do it that often but, boy, have they designed social media so well in their addictiveness.”
The 55-year-old wants to kick his latest habit, admitting: “I used to keep my phone in a drawer in my bathroom and only look at it five times a day. I need to get back to that discipline, and stay away from those cute animals.”
Moby would have instilled discipline in others in his alternative career choice. The failure of his punk rock album Animal Rights
in 1996 made Moby consider moving back to Connecticut to become a teacher.
But he said: “As a result of being an only child who works alone, I have a degree of megalomania. I’m ashamed to admit, I think I might have been megalomaniacal as a teacher. I would have seen students as an audience, not necessarily as individuals. But I do have enthusiasm, and maybe that would have helped.”
Moby now lives quietly alone in Los Angeles. He was open about his past drug exploits in two volumes of autobiography, but says of his life now: “I’ve had to build a wall between the public figure and the private person. My private person is of no interest to anyone anyway. It’s so unexciting, banal and boring, but that’s just who I am.”
As an example of blurring the lines between his public and private sides, Moby cites his long-running feud with superstar rapper Eminem. Moby accused
Eminem of writing homophobic lyrics in his music, which led to the rapper demanding to fight Moby when they both attended 2002’s MTV Awards in New York.
Moby revealed: “I thought our feud was theatre, to an extent. But we’ve only ever met once, and Eminem got really mad at me. He really didn’t seem to like me very much. “I think if we actually spoke, we’d find common ground. At the very least, we could go to Alcoholics Anonymous together.” The same year Eminem challenged him to a fight, Moby endured his lowest moment. Along with Madonna, Jon Bon Jovi and P Diddy, Moby stayed in a luxurious penthouse suite at Barcelona’s Arts Hotel the night before MTV Europe Awards.
In his powerful new autobiographical documentary Moby Doc, the star reveals he thought about suicide, saying: “I’d been given everything I’d ever wanted, but I’d never felt so depressed. I was so despondent.”
He continues: “When I got sober 12 years ago, one thing I loved about AA meetings is that people were willing to tell their story in such an honest way.
“I wanted the documentary to tell my story in a way anyone can relate to, so they’re not ashamed of how they feel.”
Moby believes it’s virtually impossible for anyone to avoid becoming affected by fame – even the Dalai Lama. He met the spiritual leader in 2008, and observed: “Men are especially susceptible to grabbing attention to feed their egos.The Dalai Lama is a lovely human being and we had a delightful conversation. But he’s still human, and during our conversation, I realised, ‘He’s still got an ego. He’s into this.’ He has an entourage and there were cameras all around.
“Men who aren’t affected by fame? Maybe Leonard Cohen. And Neil Young. I love that Neil looks terrible when he goes out in public. His view seems to be, ‘I’m an old guy, so I’ll dress like an old guy.’ That’s so empowering.” Coming to terms with ego and sobriety has helped reignite Moby’s music. His new album Reprise features classical versions of his old songs, re-recorded with Budapest Art Orchestra.
MOBY explained: “From when I was eight, I was groomed by my music teacher to be a classical guitar virtuoso. Then, at 13, I discovered The Clash and The Sex Pistols and tried to unlearn everything. I normally make music by myself, but this record was so communal and so powerful. I hope I’ve re-learned some of the things I’d unlearned.”
Making some of his best music, with a clear head, it’s no wonder Moby summarises his current life by saying: “Even though there’s a pandemic and the world is falling apart right now, apart from baldness and mortality, I don’t have much to complain about.”
‘I never forgot that David Bowie was a demigod and the best musician who will ever live’
●●Moby’s new album Reprise and documentary Moby Doc are out now