Let the spirit move you
STATISTICS, as we know by now, should be handled with care. For example, according to the publicity for Channel 4’s documentary series DEVON AND CORNWALL, back this evening for its fourth run (8pm), the past 12 months have seen Britain’s two most southwesterly counties become the most searched-for locations on the property website Rightmove.
Now, it’s not that I’m questioning the accuracy of that claim. Devon and Cornwall are lovely.And if Mr Right and Mr Move have indeed kept a tally of online searches, then I don’t doubt that it places these counties far ahead of the pack. But there’s one thing this “mostsearched-for” statistic fails to take into account, and that’s the MATGOM factor.
MATGOM stands for Me After Two Glasses Of Merlot. I’d estimate that’s where 90 per cent of those searches have been coming from.
Given a bit of downtime, I’m tapping “Devon” and “Cornwall” into Rightmove’s search bar, looking to see what I’ll buy next month once that millionpound Premium Bond jackpot finally comes in. By doing this, I fear I may have created something of a statistical anomaly. I’m really sorry about that.
Not that I wouldn’t say no to living in Devon or Cornwall, of course, should the chance arise.
And if it did, where exactly would I like to settle?
For that I’d seek the advice of a local.And if they replied: “Tristan Northway, mate,” I’d take the hint and go nowhere.
Why? Because, thanks to tonight’s show, I’d know they were having me on. “Ha!” I’d cry. “Nice try, mischievous local person. But Tristan Northway, as you’re well aware, is not a place.”
And I’d be right, as I occasionally am. Despite sounding like a station on one of those lines Dr Beeching shut in the Sixties,Tristan Northway is actually a person.
Specifically, he’s a Brixham trawlerman, one of several intriguing characters featured in this opening episode.
Honestly, you’d struggle to find someone who loves their job as much as Tristan Northway does, other than maybe his cousin Bodmin Parkway (a little southforever west regional joke there, just humour me).
Not only does he catch the fish, he’ll sell it to you straight off the boat as soon as he’s back in the harbour.
He’s that keen, he’ll also fillet it for you, offer recipe ideas, no doubt even eat the flipping thing for you if you’ve suddenly remembered fish brings you out in hives.
Also thanks to this evening’s programme, I know that Jake Chant and the wild beavers is a remarkable Devon-based conservation project and not the band who supported Cliff on his last UK tour.