Has the busy bubble burst?

Less is more when it comes to wellbeing, happiness and success, so it’s time to banish the B-word, says life coach Zena Everett

How busy are you? If you answered that with a groan then listen up – it’s time to slow down. For too long now we’ve worn the term “busy” as a mantle of honour. We see it as a good thing, to have a bulging diary with a hundred things going on.

But all is not what it seems. Being constantly busy often means being bogged down with too many plans, on top of endless digital interruptions.

Does this sound familiar? We call it multi-tasking, but what this really means is we have lots of uncompleted tasks.

And the same goes for our social lives. We make a plan to see a friend, and then another gets in touch, so we book them in for the same day.

This means that while we’re with the first one our eye is now on the clock, and not on them.

And by the time we see the second one, all we really want to do is collapse in a heap.

Being stretched thinly leads to anxiety, because we never feel we’ve done anything properly.

In my job as a coach, I see first hand that successful people do fewer but bolder things – one at a time – and get them done.

So how do we banish the B-word for good?

Keep a diary

A diary allows you to see your plans laid out. Don’t overdo it. If you already have something on that day, don’t book anything else. Savour, focus and enjoy your one plan, be it seeing a friend for coffee, a family trip to the beach or an important meeting. This will allow you to be in the moment, not thinking about what you’ll be doing next.

Prioritise rest

Being able to recharge is important. But sometimes getting to bed can be a battle of wills against the bright lights of apps and screens. So give yourself a fighting chance and make your bedroom a tech-free zone. Turn the TV off half an hour before you mean to go to sleep, and leave your phone next to it.

No is not a dirty word

As a society we’re so used to saying yes to everything, that it can often be really hard to say no. We feel as if we’re letting people down, or not pulling our weight. But practice makes perfect. Give it a try, you’ll be surprised how powerful it feels to take back control of your time.

Go offline

One day a week, or even for an hour a day, it can be really freeing to put your phone in a drawer and be without it. No calls, no texts, no emails, no social media. Just you living in the moment, without endless beeps, pings and distractions.

Get comfy with calm

Saying “I’m so busy” has been a mantra of the successful for too long. What on earth is wrong with not being so busy? You could be focusing your attention on just one important thing at work, giving it your all. Or you could be taking space for you, having some me-time while the rest of the world whirrs around you. It’s time to reclaim your time.

Ask for help

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Far from it in fact. To have such respect for your own time and what you can fit into it is a strength.

So if you feel overwhelmed, say so. Ask for help – if you don’t, nobody will know you need it.

Get a hobby

It may seem counterintuitive to take up a new hobby while trying to be less busy, but those with consuming hobbies have been found to be better able to focus on just one thing. So why not have a go at something new, be it tennis, knitting or bird-watching. Immerse yourself and let everything else dissolve away.

It can be really freeing to put your phone in a drawer and be without it

Talk, don’t text

Texting here and there, sending snippets at a time, takes our attention away from the task in hand in tiny increments throughout the day. So why not make time for a phone call? Save up everything you want to say and do it in one go. It’s much more social to talk too.

■■The Crazy Busy Cure by Zena Everett (£14.99, Nicholas Brealey Publishing)