A novel guide to Britton
NOW and again, to help me drift off to sleep, I’ll set myself a little test. Rather than counting sheep – which is a pain in the neck as they all look the same – I’ll challenge myself to remember some kind of list.
It might be British Prime Ministers, for example, of the past 50 years. Or the classic Dirty Leeds line-up (are we still allowed to call them that? Oh, sorry…) of the Don Revie era.
Or, if I want to be more contemporary, famous TV people who’ve reacted to lockdown by shooting nice outdoorsy shows in Cornwall.Adding to a line-up that already includes Rick Stein, Simon Reeve, Kate Humble, Julia Bradbury, Susan Calman, Craig and Bruno and Joanna Lumley (assuming I’m allowed to include single episodes as well as entire series, and it’s me who’s setting the rules here, so I jolly well am), we now have MY CORNWALL WITH FERN BRITTON (Channel 5, 8pm).
I particularly like the title of this one.The “my” bit. It’s as if Fern, who’s lived in Cornwall for many years, is reacting rather huffily to this recent onslaught.As huffily, at least, as Fern Britton ever reacts to anything, which doesn’t seem to be very huffily at all.
But really all she’s saying is that this travelogue of hers is unashamedly personal, reflecting on how the county has shaped her life, and how it plays a key role in the novels she reminds us she now writes, which are available from all good booksellers.
Elsewhere, UNDERCOVER BIG BOSS (ITV, 9pm), is a new version of what used to be just Undercover Boss.
ITV’s explanation for the “big”, that the programme has been “supersized and rebooted”, doesn’t actually tell us much, other than: “We’ve resuscitated an old idea, folks, and chucked more money at it.”
So to find out more precisely what they mean, we have to actually watch the show. Cunning tactic, eh?
The answer, it turns out, is that these bosses are richer and more powerful than the last lot.
Even so, they’re still about to do the same thing as before. Namely, don a disguise and mingle with their workers.
First up, it’s proudly self-made Alfie Best, super-rich founder of residential park home operator Wyldecrest Parks. Born in a caravan,Alfie now owns fast cars, several homes and the nastiest shirt I’ve ever clapped eyes on.
As with all the bosses taking part in this show,Alfie is being given a radical makeover to hide his true identity. For one week, he’ll be William Finney, a drainage engineer.
I must say it’s a pretty impressive disguise, although sadly not quite up there with Jason Manford as a singing hedgehog.