Rani right on the money
REMEMBER Channel 4’s Secret Eaters? Overweight people whose problem was they snacked all day would invite cameras to film them around the clock for a week, to find out whether their problem was they snacked all day.
At the end of each episode, they’d nervously await the result, anxious to discover what this intensive scrutiny of their day-today food consumption was about to reveal.
The result would invariably come as a shock, because according to the footage it turned out their problem was they snacked all day.
This went on for three series, until eventually, in 2014, at a meeting of Channel 4’s How Much Longer Do You Reckon We Can Get Away With Broadcasting This Condescending Nonsense Department (known as HMLDYRWCGAWBTCN for short), Secret Eaters was given the chop. Possibly with mint sauce, ha ha. So that was a bit of a shame, obviously.
But the good news is we’re now getting the next best thing. It’s called SECRET SPENDERS (C4, 8.30pm). I’m guessing you can figure out the format, so if it’s OK with you I shan’t bother explaining it. Other than to say it’s hosted by Anita Rani and features money experts Emmanuel Asuquo and Anna Whitehouse, and that each week, having analysed video footage of people buying lots of stuff they don’t need, Emmanuel and Anna will ask them if they’ve thought of maybe not buying lots of stuff they don’t need.
And yes, I know – you’d think TV bosses would twig when a new show such as this sounds uncannily similar to an old show the same channel got rid of. But don’t forget, the old show’s axing was seven years ago, when the people now running TV were busy revising for their GCSEs.
Also, this one has “secret” in its title.As I’ve said before, TV people love a programme with “secret” in its title.
If ever you’re pitching a programme idea to them, be sure to call it secret something or other – Eaters, Spenders, Pole-vaulters, it really doesn’t matter – and you’re half way there.
I have a meeting with them myself next week, when I hope to get the green light for my own new idea, called Secret People Who Keep Getting Themselves Run Over. In this one, cameras will spend a week following people who like to keep texting when they cross a busy road, to see whether or not this could be connected in some way.
Also this evening, at 9pm, if you’re assuming Channel 4’s documentary SUMMER OF WILD WEATHER: IS WORSE TO COME? will answer its own question with: “Naah, we’ve spoken to climate experts and they reckon things look fine…” prepare for a surprise.