Swish iron-age luxuries
THEY’RE off to somewhere particularly swish tonight in AMAZING HOTELS: LIFE BEYOND THE LOBBY (BBC2, 9pm). No, not the Milton Keynes Travelodge. Somewhere even swisher than that.
It’s The Lanesborough in London’s Knightsbridge, a short stroll from Harrods, Harvey Nicks etc.And presenters Giles Coren and Monica Galetti can barely contain their excitement. “It’s so exclusive and expensive,” says Monica, “that most people barely know it exists.”
We’ll definitely know The Lanesborough exists once it’s been featured for an hour on primetime BBC2, but personally I doubt I’ll be rushing there.That’s partly because, when Monica tells us it’s “expensive”, what she means is it’s eye-wateringly, jaw-droppingly, wallet-emptyingly so. She and Giles are each given one of its mid-range Buckingham suites, which in the high season would cost them £5,000 a night if they were actually paying.
(A double at the Milton Keynes Travelodge starts at £76.99, plus you’re a five-minute walk from a Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a really good M&S.)
Also, I don’t think The Lanesborough is for the likes of me. For one thing, I’m not sure I’d appreciate its hyper-attentive service. Giles is jolly posh and even he admits he finds it a bit awkward.
“It never occurred to me when I packed my underwear,” he remarks, “that it would be thoroughly inspected by a uniformed butler in white gloves.”
That’s no exaggeration, by the way. Well, all right, it is, but only a tiny one. He does indeed arrive at his room – sorry, his suite – to find that his butler (there really is one of those allocated to every guest) has not only unpacked for him but ironed his shirts.
Elsewhere this evening, in NEW LIVES IN THE WILD (C5, 9pm), Ben Fogle isn’t really in the wild. Not this time. From London he’s taken “probably my shortest commute ever”, to a pretty corner of Oxfordshire.
“It’s not exactly wilderness,” he admits, “but this is quintessential British countryside.”
So, OK, it’s New Lives In Quintessential British Countryside. And his hosts have a huge cosy home, albeit one they’ve built themselves. But fair enough – Ben deserves a break from all those swamps and treehouses he normally has to stay in.
“Actually, we’ve got a full house at the moment,” they then announce, before taking him outside and showing him where he’ll be sleeping instead.
“We thought you might appreciate a flavour of the early days on the farm,” they tell the presenter, “when we were living in caravans…”
On the plus side, they haven’t rifled through his pants.