Sarah smells a love rat

THERE’S been an awful lot of football on TV this week, don’t you think? On terrestrial, I mean. Between them, over the last three nights, BBC1 and ITV have broadcast no fewer than five live matches.

And each has swallowed up at least two-and-a-half hours’ airtime, so it hasn’t just been the matches themselves but all the droning-on, before and after.

One day, in the middle of one of these exhaustive, exhausting discussions of theirs, analysing the hell out of someVAR decision or disputed penalty, wouldn’t you love one of the pundits to undergo an epiphany, live on air – to stop themselves mid-rant and go: “Actually, on second thoughts, guys, who cares? I mean, seriously, what is the point of any of this..?”

Don’t get me wrong, I love watching great football, even though I support Brighton (there we go: that’s my lifetime ban from the Amex Stadium sorted with a single throwaway remark), but I’m feeling increasingly sorry for viewers who don’t.

Not as sorry, mind you, as I’m feeling for Adam Barlow, by way of a change, on CORONATION STREET (ITV, 8pm).

Thanks to all this football bulldozing its way through the regular schedules, the poor chap’s had to stew since Monday, unable to take even the tiniest step towards clearing his name.

Now that the path is finally clear and Corrie can resume, can he use this precious hour of airtime to convince Sarah-Lou he hasn’t been cheating on her with the quite tremendously unhinged Lydia?

Well, he clearly intends to try.And since it happens to be his and Sarah’s anniversary (two whole years – and to think they said it wouldn’t last…), he starts by sending her a big bunch of flowers.

Unfortunately, that’s precisely what love rats always do, especially in Corrie.

Indeed, I’m surprised Preston’s Petals doesn’t do a Love Rat 10 per cent discount.

Not only that, but the standard soap response to such a gesture is for the aggrieved recipient to chuck the flowers straight in the bin – and Sarah’s not one to break with soap tradition. On reflection,Adam would have done better just to pick up a bunch from the petrol station. That way, he would have had enough change for a can of de-icer and a Snickers.

Elsewhere this evening, tonight’s

INSIDE CULTUREWITH SHAHIDHA BARI (BBC2,

7.30pm) is apparently exploring “the return of 1990s culture, through fashion, music,TV and cinema”.

Honestly I had no idea the 90s were back. Did you?

Good to hear, though.

I can dig out some of my lovely old 90s shirts.

Best I don’t try doing up the buttons, mind you, in case I have somebody’s eye out.