Take my advice, be careful who you ask
OH DEAR and how embarrassing. As if the Royal Family didn’t have enough on its plate at the moment, letters have come to light that show Prince Charles asked Jimmy Savile for PR advice, with the repellent presenter even drawing up a media relations handbook. Actually, I don’t think we should judge Chazza too harshly: Savile managed to fool just about everyone, except for parts of the BBC, of course, which seemed to know exactly what was going on and chose to turn a blind eye. But as a PR adviser, maybe this wasn’t the best choice. Here are a few other suggestions in the same vein:
Henry VIII as a marriage counsellor. OK, so the medieval monarch might have had a slightly robust approach when it came to shedding some of his wives, but given that there were six of them, Hazza must have picked up something about matrimony! Never go to sleep on an argument. Divorce her (or worse) and move on to the next instead.
Donald Trump on diplomacy, especially involving countries that are right on the border with the United States, and whose indigenous inhabitants would quite like to visit. It would be interesting to hear his thoughts on riot control, as well.
Muhammad Ali on modesty. Yes, of course we all loved him, but comments along the lines of, “I am the greatest,” “I’m handsome, I’m young, I’m fast,” and my personal favourite, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. His hands can’t hit what his eyes can’t see. Now you see me, now you don’t.
George thinks he will, but I know he won’t,” do imply a certain amount of self-confidence. No lack of selfesteem there, or as Ali also once said, “It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am.”
Caligula on political astuteness. OK, so he wanted to make his horse into a consul, but looking at some of the politicians around today, don’t you think he might have had a point?
William McGonagall on literature. This is a little unfair as the Irish writer, commonly regarded as the worst poet ever born, remains loved to this day, but his popularity is for all the wrong reasons. Here’s a sample of his verse from The Tay Bridge Disaster: “I must now conclude my lay/By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay/That your central girders would not have given way/At least many sensible men do say/Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,/At least many sensible men confesses.” Sheer class.
Pete Doherty on clean living. Last week it was revealed that he almost lost both feet as he “ran out of veins” to inject into. Just watch what he does and do the opposite.
Boris Johnson on dressing snappily and personal grooming. This is the man who used to mess up his hair before appearing in front of the cameras because it made him look like a man of the people. Make that man prime minister! Oh, wait…