Curator’s in the box seat

WE’RE back at the V&A tonight for a new series of the excellent SECRETS OF THE MUSEUM (BBC2, 8pm). And again we’re reminded that it takes a special type to work at this place, tending not just to the tiny fraction of the collection that’s on display but also to the countless precious items in storage.

We’re talking about the sort who, when discussing the importance of those unseen items and what happens when it’s time to bring them out, will deliver the kind of remark we hear from senior curator Simon Sladen. “It’s almost as if our objects are sleeping,” is how Simon puts it, “and it’s our job to wake them up and give them the opportunity to tell their stories...”

Be honest, if you were being interviewed for a job there, a line like that would be an absolute clincher, wouldn’t it? You could pretty much put your feet up on the interviewers’ desk and ask: “So, when do I start, guys?” while lighting yourself a big fat cigar.

Having said that, imagine the responsibility these people take on. I certainly don’t envy Simon’s colleague Philippa Mackenzie, currently overseeing a huge removal operation.TheV&A is shifting 250,000 items to a swanky new building out east, and you get the impression it’s quite stressful.

“It’s a bit like moving not a house but a small town,” says Philippa. “I see storage boxes in my sleep. I wake up screaming, ‘Floor protection!’ and things like that.”

Also, some of this stuff is apparently a teensy bit deadly. Two sets of poison arrows, for example – one from Assam, one from Burma – which theV&A acquired in 1880 (we’re not told what on earth for), carry a plantderived toxin that can last up to 1,300 years. “It paralyses the central nervous system,” explains assistant curator Ekta Raheja, “and can cause cardiac arrest.”

So, yes, probably best not put them on display for a while.

Although, having said that, if anyone ever pinched one set, I doubt they’d come back for the other.

Elsewhere tonight, in FALKLANDS WAR: THE