I think I’ve lost the plot!

WHAT are you like with plots? Personally, I’m dreadful with them. Plonk me in front of a typical TV drama – even one on ITV – and you can guarantee I’ll be lost within 20 minutes.

(“Hang on, can we pause it a moment? Right, now, isn’t that the guy from part one who had the shovel and the scar and the Ford Fiesta? Or am I thinking of the Morris dancer’s uncle with the poodle and the limp..?”)

Not surprisingly, then, I have a disproportionate preference for stories with precious few characters. Ideally, six should be the maximum (indeed, I’d like to see this enshrined in law, as an amendment to that broadcasting bill the Government announced a couple of weeks ago).

On paper at least, this week’s INSIDE NO.9 (BBC2, 10pm) – the darkly comic anthology series I’ve already praised for the refreshing brevity of each week’s tale – should therefore be right up my street.

Half a dozen characters, 29 minutes, just the one setting – perfect.And yet its stars/creators, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith – joined this week by guests Sophie Okonedo and Siobhan Redmond – have come up with a story so magnificently tangled and confusing that I defy anyone to figure out what the heck is going on, at least until the very end.And possibly not even then.

For once, however, I’m fine with that, because baffling us is clearly its objective from the outset.And it does it with such style.

Sophie plays Detective Inspector Katrina – nicknamed Nine-Lives Kat – a single mum and divorcee with horrendous hang-ups, a depressingly unfulfilling love life and what you might call a bit of a drink problem (by which I mean she’ll have Coco Pops with vodka for her breakfast).

Kat’s trying to get to grips with the case of a missing boy, and determined not to be sidetracked by her personal issues.

Steve, meanwhile, plays... well, here’s the thing. If I say any more, I’ll give too much away and spoil it for you. Or confuse you before you’ve even started watching it. Or confuse myself even further. Or both. See what I mean? But it’s creepy more than comic, I can definitely say that much.

Or can I? Significantly easier to follow tonight are the plots of THE REPAIR SHOP (BBC1, 8pm) –a couple turn up with the biggest wooden clock you ever did see, but can horologist Steve Fletcher get it ticking again? – and THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE (BBC1, 9pm) where figuring out how to make something stylish from a hammock is this week’s toughest challenge.

I’d probably ask if I could sleep on that one.

Sorry.