Is your phone taking over your life?
When Charlie Rosse realised she was spending more than eight hours a day on social media, she had to admit she had a problem – and she’s not alone. Here she finds out how to finally switch off
The latest figures are a sad sign of the times: 210 million people are in the grip of social media and internet addiction worldwide. I didn’t realise I was one of them until I noticed the time on my phone was exceeding eight hours a day.
During lockdown I returned to my childhood home, Middleton-on-Sea, a tiny village near Bognor Regis on the south coast. Isolated, the only way to stay connected was through technology. But what started out as a support mushroomed into addiction.
Even as I’m writing this, I have picked up my phone several times, my brain barely registering as I check Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp, emails and TikTok.
By the time I put my phone down, I’ve completely forgotten why I picked it up in the first place. I should only have spent a brief moment searching for a word on Google. Instead I’ve wasted 20 minutes and totally lost focus.
Days melt away. I berate myself for the lack of self-discipline that has slowed my productivity to a snail’s pace. So why not come off the apps?
As with any addiction, going cold turkey seems impossible. Instagram and TikTok feel integral to my day-to-day life – and my work. Removing Instagram, for example, would leave me unable to update @TheRoamingReader where I have nearly 17,000 followers.
If I try to disconnect, I experience severe anxiety. I believe I’m not working hard enough and my audience will lose interest.
But the truth is, although I’m constantly connected to the world, I feel lonelier than prior to the pandemic when my social media consumption was under control.
I do my best to hide my addiction from friends and family, putting my phone down the minute someone comes into the room. But if I do manage to reduce my hours online during the day, I stay up late to compensate.
Spending so much of my day on social media feels shameful. But I’m not alone. While the average amount of time on social media is around two-and-a-half hours a day, teens aged 13-18 spend an average of eight hours 39 minutes looking at screens.
And it’s not just teens. Claire Wilson, 52, a data-processing manager from Lincoln, spends six hours a day on YouTube and Instagram. It increased following the death of her parents.
“My dad died in 2019, my mum a year later. I’d moved from London to Lincoln to be closer to them and became quite isolated,” she says.
“I lost my old life so was trying to find connections. With Instagram I was able to get to know people. For me, social media is a crutch.”
Claire finds making friends difficult in real life. “I have always felt misunderstood and, as I have social anxiety, I don’t really go out at the moment. “Sometimes I feel ashamed that at my age I can’t make friends. Then I see comments on Instagram and YouTube and realise I am not alone. It’s easier online.”
Statistics show the UK has 53 million active social media users, and 98.8 per cent access social media on their mobile devices.
“Social media is designed to be addictive,” says psychologist Jacky Power ( jackypower.com).
“It is littered with dopamine hits – algorithms showing you more of what you enjoy and the tracking of likes and followers are all designed to keep you hooked.”
Despite this, social media addiction has still not been officially classified as a mental health disorder. “Research takes a while to catch up to reality,” says Jacky. “When people are addicted, they continue to do the same thing over and over again, despite it having a negative effect on their health, social and personal life.
“It takes on a heightened level of importance and they use it to change their mood. They need to do it more and more in order to feel satisfied.” She reveals the warning signs to look out for.
“Does your social media use cause arguments? Does it stop you from interacting with people in real life?
Do you access it while doing other activities so you are less present? Does the thought of going offline panic you? If yes, you might be addicted.”
And social media addiction can affect anyone.
“It is exploiting a vulnerability in humans,” says Jacky.
“It can enhance our lives through a sense of connection, but it can become something that we feel tethered to.”
Like Claire, people who find face-to-face social interaction hard may turn to social media as a way to connect.
“Communication barriers are much lower online than in real life and the availability of portable devices makes it easy to access, allowing us to frequently tap into our need to connect. We get to control what we consume, who we follow and therefore, to some extent, what we see. “But this means we can live in echo chambers of people who think the same as us and don’t challenge our thoughts or values.”
Jacky stresses the importance of real-life connection.
“While social media can help us to feel more connected, it can’t help us with feeling less isolated.” Determined to make a change, I now sleep in a different room to my phone to avoid looking at it first thing in the morning or last thing at night. Social media is key for connection for me, but I hope that being in closer proximity to my friends will help with this after I move back to London later this year. In the meantime, rediscovering hobbies I have neglected has been helping, such as playing the piano and jigsaw puzzles. Keeping the changes small feels manageable, and hopefully within a few months it will all add up to make a real difference.
‘‘ I’m constantly connected to the world but feel lonelier than before the pandemic
It can enhance our lives but it can also be something we feel tethered to