Host’s nice little learner
THEY’RE not wrong when they say you learn something new every day. In fact, yesterday I learned three something news, including how to say penguin in Spanish (it’s pingüino, apparently). But obviously the most reliable way to learn new things is to watch travelogues featuring popular TV personalities. So I’m delighted that the man who hosts Pointless has made a new one.
It’s called ALEXANDER ARMSTRONG IN SRI LANKA and it starts tonight at 9pm on Channel 5.
Now, I’m ashamed to admit this but Sri Lanka isn’t a country I know much about.
It’s not that they didn’t teach us geography at school, it’s just that it mostly seemed to be about the Bessemer converter and why Argentina produces so much corned beef.
So, over the course of three episodes, I’m hoping Xander (I still find it weird to call him that) can help me plug some gaps in my knowledge.
First, however, he needs to plug some of his own.
In Colombo, Sri Lanka’s capital, he’s advised to go and meet Shanjei, a friendly guru-type chap who’ll be happy to assist. “So, I hear that you are here to explore my island,” Shanjei begins.
Xander confirms that this is indeed the purpose of his mission: “I was hoping you might give me some advice.”
Shanjei duly obliges: “Beware of the traffic.The stray dogs are very friendly.
“And when it comes to the street food, the dodgier the place looks, the better the food will be.”
Shanjei also explains how dramatically his country (apparently it’s the size of Ireland) can vary: “Travel five hours in any direction and you’ll be able to see a different landscape, you’ll be able to experience a different climate.”
Xander decides to begin in “the sultry south-west”, at the coastal fortress city of Galle.
There, after a brief history lesson during which I must admit I briefly nod off, we meet a local man who earns his living by diving headlong off the city walls into the scarily shallow water 30ft below.
This, Xander somehow feels the need to tell us, “should definitely not be tried at home”. Later he visits an elephant sanctuary to hear about its wonderful work.
An elephant, he learns from his charming host, can live as long as a human.And each day, he’s told, it can eat up to 250kg of food.
Xander finds this astonishing. “I weigh 83kg,” he says.
See, I told you these shows were an education.
“It wouldn’t surprise you to learn,” Xander continues, passing on further facts he’s just picked up, “that a male elephant can produce a whopping 100kg of poo a day.”
To be honest, I could have done without learning that bit.