You’ll not be board silly
HOW much would you pay for a skateboard? Can’t say I’ve ever been in the market for one myself – nor am I ever likely to be, unless I fancy an appearance on 24 Hours In A&E – but I’ve Googled it and they seem to start at around £40.
That’s for a pretty basic one, mind you.What if it were something a wee bit fancier? Specifically, how much would I pay for a skateboard with LouisVuitton on it?
That’s one of the items that’s genuinely up for sale tonight on THE GREATEST AUCTION (Channel 4, 8pm). It doesn’t have LouisVuitton on it in the literal sense, I should probably point out, largely because he died in 1892.
But it does have his name on each of its wheels, plus his logo on the metal thingy that joins the wheels to the board itself, whatever the heck that bit’s called.
And apparently those little designery touches make this skateboard very desirable. “I would use it as a showpiece,” suggests one entrepreneur who’s eager to bid. “I think this skateboard is something people would talk about, take photos with – maybe something you’d even hang up in a frame in your office.”
Another, equally keen, declares: “I can’t think of anything more bougie than a LouisVuitton skateboard.” Well, indeed.
The seller, a fashion photographer called Ben, wants at least £5,000 for it. If not, he’ll be putting it back in its Louis Vuitton box and carrying it home.
I don’t think it would occur to him to skate on it. Elsewhere, there’s a chap who wants at least £10,000 for the piece of art he’s auctioning, which he bought for just £130. It’s by someone called Invader, who’s apparently a Parisian street artist.
He must be quite a special Parisian street artist because what he’s painted here is a Rubik’s Cube. From my experience, most Parisian street artists paint bowls of fruit or the Eiffel Tower. That, or they’ll sketch you in charcoal and make you look like Gareth Southgate.
This painting’s current owner admits he’ll be sad to part with it but says: “It’s a bit scary, owning a piece that could be worth that much in your own house. “I don’t trust myself. And I don’t trust my cats!”
Yes, fair point.We all know what cats can be like. Turn your back for five minutes and they’ll have flogged it on eBay, the sneaky little blighters.
Elsewhere, a lady called Melissa is auctioning a couple of designer items that she’s lovingly restored. The first is an Hermes Birkin ostrich handbag.
Sounds a bit niche to me, but what do I know?
If there’s an ostrich in the room who’s prepared to part with £25,000, who’s to say it won’t be Melissa’s lucky day?