‘If I have any regrets, it’s every single minute that I didn’t spend holding Derek’s hand’
KATE Garraway says there wasn’t any feeling of relief when husband Derek Draper died – and she regrets not “holding his hand” more.
She was in tears as she reflected on life with him in ITV documentary Derek’s Story, which aired last night.
He died on January 3 after battling long-term effects of Covid-19 for over three years, damaging his organs.
The documentary showed his empty bed at home when he was in hospital in December after a cardiac arrest.
Later, Kate was seen in the same room, but Derek’s bed was missing, replaced by a table and chairs – “a very different room now”, she said.
Speaking on camera in February, Kate said: “This is the book he was reading, very slowly, at the end.
“I said to him, trust you to be reading A Little Life, because if anybody had a big life, it was Derek and it’s left a big hole.”
She continued: “A lot of people say ‘it must be a relief, in a way, that he’s out of pain’. There isn’t a relief.
“If I have any regrets, it’s every single minute that I didn’t spend holding his hand because I had to go and write an email, make a phone call, fight the system that should be there to catch you when you fall but when you’re going through it, feels like it’s there to catch you out.
“That’s what I want to be Derek’s legacy, to fight on for that change. The one thing Derek has taught me is never give up fighting for what is right.
“It’s not about Derek or me, it is about having a society where caring is not a luxury.”
Derek is shown speaking in brief snatches last year, and headed to a pioneering brain cell clinic in Mexico at the end of 2023 to aid his recovery.
But he suffered a cardiac arrest and after 14 hours of neurosurgery, was flown with Kate to a hospital in London. Kate was filmed at home and was aware that the end of Derek’s life could be near.
She said: “I sat down with him and holding his hand, I just said to him, ‘look, you know me, I’m gonna fight this all the way. But if you can’t fight it more and actually what you need now is peace, then don’t think about us. We’re going to be fine’.”
The final word in the documentary goes to Derek.Asked by director Lucy Wilcox what had been the most important thing to him in the last three years, he replied: “Family”.
Before the documentary was aired last night, Kate told Good Morning Britain she was “ashamed” that care bills for Derek left her in debt.
She said: “I’m somebody that is very well paid and so I just feel a shame that I couldn’t make it work.”
Kate spent £16,000 a month on care, with Derek’s basic care costs exceeding her ITV salary. ●●Kate Garraway: Derek’s Story aired on ITV1 and is available to watch on ITVX.