My parents think I’m crazy… in the proudest way
Friday Night Dinner star Tom Rosenthal reveals how joining the BBC’s latest series of Pilgrimage made him contemplate his unexplored Jewish roots, grapple with some deep emotions… and even consider taking an autism test on the advice of a co-star
WHEN Friday Night Dinner star Tom Rosenthal signed up for BBC Two’s celebrity pilgrimage series, he had no idea trekking 130-or-so miles along the North Wales Pilgrims Way would prove so profoundly moving or thought provoking. Indeed Tom, 36, who played Jonny Goodman in the cult Channel 4 sitcom for nine years, reveals he not only surprised himself by bursting into tears on camera as he grappled with hitherto undisclosed grief, but the experience also made him consider being tested for autism. The son of sports TV presenter Jim Rosenthal and Newsnight producer Christine, Tom confides even his parents think he isn’t “normal”.
“My parents know I am not normal but it doesn’t make a difference in their mind whether I am or I am not,” he admits today in an exclusive interview. “My parents think I am crazy in the proudest way.”
Going on to reveal his friends also describe him as “autistic”, the star admits it didn’t come as a huge surprise when fellow trek celebrity Christine McGuinness asked whether he might have autism, having recently been diagnosed herself.
“A lot of my close friends call me autistic,” he explains.
“I do clearly have quite a lot of the behavioural traits that people who are diagnosed as autistic do have. But it’s a question of where do you draw the line of where autism is?
“I don’t personally think it has affected my life too much. Yes, I have had some recent times where people have found me rude in emails. I am super open and very direct. I can reply to someone with a blank-looking face too. But I’m actually quite friendly.”
Happy in himself, he admits the question of whether to get a formal diagnosis has now been on his mind since completing the TV trek. “I don’t actually know the answer but my head basically has two voices,” he explains. “One is Christine and the other is not. Before this TV series it hadn’t suited me to get a diagnosis. Christine has said it helped her massively and it’s given her an understanding of herself. But I don’t think it would give me one.
“I also don’t think it would make any difference if I had a label or not.”
He pauses, smiles, and then adds: “And my parents are so proud of everything I do. Even if what I do is trash, they think it is amazing! I’m very fortunate to have that lovely kind of parenting.”
As Tom chats, it’s clear just how close he is to his mum and dad.
Smiling whenever he refers to them, the self-deprecating actor, an only child, reveals how they have always been incredibly protective – even letting him figure out what his religious beliefs were despite his Jewish heritage.
Tom is of German-Jewish descent through his famous dad.
One of his paternal great-grandfathers is physician and writer Oscar Levy.
But there was a poignant reason behind their decision, explains Tom who grew up in Berkshire and who has always poked fun at his “privileged” upbringing that included Reading’s Blue Coat private school.
“Dad was bullied at school,” he reveals. “He was known as ‘the Jew’ and he didn’t want that for me.
“My parents were very protective of me and my dad didn’t want me to be bullied for being Jewish.And so, when I was growing up,
I wasn’t brought up as Jewish and it wasn’t a culture that belonged to me.
“But it was not the case of ‘You are not Jewish’ either, more one of you can find your own way in the world and that’s what I have had the privilege to do.”
HE PAUSES and then says of the antisemitism facing many British Jews daily in the wake of the October 7 terror attack on Israel by Hamas: “I can’t speak from my own personal experience as I don’t have anything to contribute, but it’s very sad.”
Describing himself as “a-religious”, he has, however, always had a huge fascination in lots of different faiths and a big curiosity as to why so many people choose to go on pilgrimages to find spirituality.
“I am and always have been super-curious,” Tom admits. “It’s one of the reasons why I signed up to the Pilgrimage series. I wanted to understand why people go on one. And I am so pleased I did.
“When it comes to work, filming this programme is right up there in terms of one of the best things I have ever done.
“It unlocks stuff you don’t realise has to be unlocked. It’s also taught me that you can carry stuff around you didn’t realise you were carrying.”
As well as Christine, who isn’t religious but
thinks of herself as spiritual, the other celebrities on the Welsh trek were Eshaan Akbar, a lapsed Muslim, Traitors star Amanda Lovett, a Catholic, Michaela Strachan, whose faith lies in nature, Sonali Shah, raised in a Jain household, and reality TV star Spencer Matthews, who was christened in the Church of England but who says he is still searching for answers to life’s big questions.
Tom says they all got on brilliantly during the three-part series, which starts this Friday on BBC Two and begins at Flint Castle on the Dee estuary in North Wales before passing through the mountain ranges of Snowdonia and finishing in Bardsey Island, just off the western tip of the Llyn Peninsula.
It is the sixth series of the popular programme, which has drawn audiences for its quiet contemplation of faith and bonding among nominally disparate individuals.
As well as discovering more about himself, Tom admits one of the biggest other revelations to come from his trek was how emotional he got.
Not normally the type of person who finds it easy to convey his feelings, there was one moment near the end, he explains, where he found himself in tears as he sat and held a pebble on a beach.
“It was the penultimate day and I was holding on to something that allowed me to process some grief that I wasn’t conscious of,” he explains.
“I hadn’t intended on going on the show and being emotionally vulnerable but it allowed me to process some grief. It was very powerful.”
He won’t divulge exactly why he got so emotional, nor who it was about, but today as he reflects on his pilgrimage journey, Tom admits he misses Paul Ritter, who played his father Martin in Friday Night Dinner.
The popular comedy series, also starring Tamsin Greig and Simon Bird and based on a North London Jewish family, ran from 2011 until 2020 when it ended a year after Paul’s untimely death aged just 54 from a brain tumour.
“I do miss him,” he says softly. “It’s difficult. It’s obviously nothing compared to what his family went through, but we were a second family. He was incredibly influential in my career; he was very gracious to work with and someone who was a true inspiration to me. He was very serious about being funny and I aspire to be as good an actor as he was.”
Going on to describe his immense pride working on the show, he adds: “It had religion at its heart and it was honestly an amazing privilege to be in something that had such resonance. It was a super sad way for the show to end but it’s why we engage with these big questions now. When someone disappears, something is left of them.”
So after surviving the Pilgrimage trek, what lies in store next for the TV actor?
TOM, who lives in the West Country with his partner of 18 months, says he is currently trying to write some new stand-up material. He’d also be interested in starring in another TV comedy so long as it was the same high quality as Fright Night Dinner and Plebs, in which he played Marcus Gallo.
“I am quite selective in what I do,” he stresses.
“I don’t want to be in anything worse than Plebs or Friday Night Dinner. I am writing some stand-up material. It’s exciting to be doing some interesting stuff. I am very grateful for everything…”
The actor also reveals he would love to explore other people’s faiths, including his own ancestral roots. He adds: “I have been to a synagogue to film a scene once but I’ve never been to a Jewish religious service. I would love to go.And I would also like to go on more pilgrimages in the future.”
He then roars with laughter as he admits: “Although when we stayed in a climber’s hut, I honestly thought that if I have to stay here again, I will go home. I can’t sleep in bad beds!”