Damp squid celebrations

DID you realise MASTERCHEF is 20 years old this year? Nope, nor did I, but that’s definitely what they’re saying. “Crack open the champagne!” cries the BBC website. “Global phenomenon MasterChef turns 20 in 2024, returning to BBC One for a celebration like no other.”

If I wanted to be pedantic – which I do; you should try it, it’s fun – I’d argue that it’s a lot older than that, having first appeared on our tellies in 1990. But that was the old MasterChef, with Loyd Grossman. For some reason, that one doesn’t count.

What the BBC are talking about here is MasterChef in its revised form — ie the version we know today – as hosted by GreggWallace and John Torode.

As this was first broadcast in 2005, you might wish to argue that it’s actually only 19 years old, not 20.

But there’s only so far one can take this whole pedantry thing before it starts to become a little tiresome, even for me.

So let’s just agree that this new series, starting tonight (6.30pm, BBC1), will be the 20th with Gregg and John at the helm, and leave it at that, shall we? Honestly, you do go on.

Anyway, more importantly, what does this “celebration like no other” actually amount to? Well, on the evidence of episode one, I have to say “very little”.And the reason I have to say “very little” is because “absolutely bog-all” might sound uncouth.

Yes, it’s simply business as usual in the MasterChef kitchen. No mention whatsoever of this series being special.All we’re told is that 48 amateur cooks, as per normal, have been selected to take part, and that two of the six we meet tonight will be almost instantly out the door again.

But then maybe the hosts didn’t want to draw too much attention to this big anniversary of theirs.

Remember when A Question Of Sport turned 50 and, after years of harmlessly going about its business with minimal fuss, a big deal was made of it reaching that landmark?

Someone at “our” BBC, who’d probably never watched it up till then, was clearly incensed to learn that such a show – with Sue Barker, Matt Dawson, Phil Tufnell and four million happy viewers – had slipped under the radar.

Within months, they’d axed all three and “refreshed” the show for our modern age – bringing in a new host, two new captains – and ratings of 800,000.

Genius.

Let me stress, I don’t anticipate a similar fate for MasterChef.All I’m saying is that, for those who’ve worked in TV for a good many years, keeping one’s head down these days is probably a wise strategy.

And the strangely early time slot for tonight’s episode? That’ll do for starters.