Emma Webber’s letter to officers who shared ‘disgusting’ texts
This letter is addressed to the WhatsApp group of police officers who discussed the attack on my son and his friend Grace on the 13th June. As Barney’s Mum, it’s so important that you “hear my voice” about the nature of how some of you within your group chose to address the brutal murder of my son.
There is little point in writing a tirade about my hurt, anger and disgust at the wording you used. That goes without saying. All I ask is that you stop for a moment to read the following.
I know you are police officers but you are also human beings, and very likely that a number of you are parents as well. Given this, the callous, degrading and desensitised manner of your comments has caused more trauma than you can imagine.
When you say “a couple of students have been proper butchered” did you stop to think about the absolute terror that they felt in the moment when they were ambushed and repeatedly stabbed by a man who had planned his attack and lay waiting in the shadows for them?
When you say “innards out and everything” did you think about the agony they felt and the final thoughts that went through their minds as this vicious individual inflicted wounds so serious that they had no chance of surviving?
Did you relate the excited urgency in your message of spreading “big news” and preparing for a busy shift that countless lives had been destroyed forever? Barney was 19. The trousers he was wearing were given to him, by me, for his last ever birthday, which was the 19th January. The T-shirt he was wearing was his younger brother’s. Barney had given it to him for what would be his last ever Christmas with us in December 2022. He liked his gift to his brother so much he “borrowed” it to take back to university.
In his last moments on this earth, those are the clothes that Barney was wearing. Take a moment to think about those clothes, on my son, when you refer to him as a slain animal.
The very last time I ironed clothes for him was to dress him for his funeral. For that he wore his favourite pink shirt, chinos and his Nottingham Uni cricket tie. Just so you know!
Human
Every day I walk past my beautiful boy’s bedroom and I see his drawers and wardrobe full of clothes, his shoes where he last left them and countless photos, bits and bobs bought on holidays over the years. Also the calendar on his wall that will never go beyond June 2023.
My son (and all those who lost their lives at the hands of Valdo Calocane) were people. Decent, kind, funny, real human beings who had a right to their lives, who had so many plans for the future.
I have the utmost respect for all the professionals who work so hard within our emergency services; and fully understand how hard the job must be. I thank God daily for all of these decent dedicated people who keep us safe, protected and alive.
However, anyone who can witness the details of such a horror as happened in the early hours of June 14 and refer to lost children as butchered animals should seriously consider their position.
We have been denied knowledge of how many officers were in this group. We do know of the one officer who was so publicly named and disciplined; however, we also know that he did not write the message. He unwisely chose to share it. So, to the author of that message, who we understand has received a management warning, I pray you will read this and pause for a while. Dig a little deeper for compassion and care. Show the respect in the future that you did not afford Barney.
My aim is not to cause undue shame, or to have anyone publicly vilified; there’s no need to add yet more pain; I just hope that by reaching out to educate and explain, my voice might make a difference.
If you feel able and wish to make contact know that you can and it will be kept fully private.
I have written this open letter only because of the actions of your chief constable and her senior leadership team.