A BIRD IN THE HAND IS... NOT WORTH IT, KARL

‘I didn’t sign up for any chaos,’ Karl told Sunita, when she became a tad clingy on Monday. Well, for ‘a tad clingy’, read ‘clinging like a limpet until she has drained every atom of life from the rock’. Desperate to extricate himself from said limpet, Karl had just one thing to say about Sunita to Stella: ‘I’m sick o’ the sight of ’er miserable gob.’

On Monday, Sunita is even more miserable when she notices a new closeness between Karl and Stella. So, will she go back to Dev and make the most of what she had? Blimey. A corner shop, two kids and a man who sounds as if he’s impersonating Pavarotti if he so much as calls for milk for his cereal? I wasn’t convinced by his sobbing this week, either. Still, anything that keeps him from uttering any words is OK in my book. Eva, meanwhile, overhears Sunita telling Karl that she will not keep his grubby secrets, and Stella, thinking that he is gambling again, throws him out. Along with that Jubilee Dusty Springfield wig, we hope.

Far more convincing were Leanne’s tears, but with Simon (the brilliant Alex Bain) now living with her, is it enough to cheer her up? Don’t be daft. On Monday, she has another row with Peter, pointing out that he must really love Carla to give up his son for her. I think it had more to do with the fact that, until Simon hid under the stairs, Peter hadn’t realised there was so much storage space for more crates of booze. On Wednesday, Carla suggests they have children of their own (above). Where are they going to house them in that tiny flat? Under the stairs, I suppose, once the consumed booze has made extra space.