Don’t write off house-moving shows until you’ve tried them, says our critic, they’re addictive

Moving home is widely believed to be one of the most stressful experiences we’ll ever go through in life, right up there with bereavement and divorce. But when other people move house it’s another thing entirely – in fact, it makes for compelling entertainment.

Across the channels, on any given day, you’ll find at least one show about people pondering the benefits of upsizing, downsizing, emigrating or swapping the pressure of city living for gentle countryside contentment. These shows are often dismissed as schedule-filling trash, but I disagree. They’re compulsive viewing, and what makes them so watchable is that the participants are so picky, pedantic and totally unrealistic it almost (I said almost) makes you feel sorry for estate agents.

My current favourite is BBC1’s Wanted Down Under, in which British families travel to Australia and decide whether or not they want to move there. Now, a cynic could be forgiven for thinking the families only take part for the free trip to Oz with not the slightest intention of ever moving – but let’s put such negative thoughts aside.

Having watched far too many episodes of Neighbours and Home And Away, all the families are quick to announce that, in return for their damp and dingy houses in Blighty, they expect an Aussie palace complete with heated pool. To help the families make a decision they’re plied with information about schools, jobs, public transport – and the price of bananas. Yes, for some reason the price of bananas in Australia compared to Britain is a key part of the decision-making process. At the end of the show, Mum, Dad and kids announce whether they’re going to move or stay put. Most say they’re going to move, but given there are never any followups it’s safe to assume they never do.

Escape To The Country on BBC2, meanwhile, invariably features couples who think the countryside is packed with people who pass their time sitting on bales of hay and dancing around maypoles at village fêtes.

Of course, Channel 4’s Location, Location, Location is the most famous of the moving-house shows, with Phil and Kirstie grimacing as Seb and Tabitha outline what they require in return for selling their London home. They want their rural idyll to have a huge kitchen complete with Aga, the living room has to have an open fire and the garden must be the size of Wembley Arena. On top of all that, Tabitha needs a ‘work space’ where she can build her new cottage industry of selling overpriced, wonky pottery to six people a year on the internet. I don’t know where they find these people – but I’m so glad they do.