CORONATION STREET

THEY DON’T CALL ITALY THE BOOT FOR NOTHING

There was a scene of such perfection on Monday, after Steve delivered the divorce papers to Tracy and she showed complete indignation. ‘What have I ever done to him? Unreasonable behaviour? Me?’ She was still intent on salvaging the relationship: ‘Just say the word, Steve.’ Presumably that was a different instruction from ‘Say the word “Steve”’, which is something she follows to the letter incessantly.

It was a week of broken relationships, with Lewis delivering his killer blow to Gail. On Monday, her life is in pieces. The big question has to be how on Earth she was going to buy an apartment in Tuscany with £40k? She’d be lucky to buy lunch for four in that part of the world. When she says she has to put up Kylie and David’s rent, Audrey comes in with an offer the couple can’t refuse, and on Wednesday Gail is horrified that her mother and her children have turned against her. My biggest question is how, with three hairdressers in one salon, Lewis, Audrey and Gail all look in need of a topiarist just to enable them to see to cross the road?

Anna is still keeping tabs on Faye on Wednesday, although with the girl blending in with the ornaments, it’s hard to spot her. What was the deal? A set of Sixties vases with every red school sweater? The army couldn’t come up with camouflage like this.

Also hoping to make a getaway is Tyrone, who on Friday tries to escape with Fiz and Ruby ( below). Kirsty barges into Tina’s, demanding to know their whereabouts, and then the police turn up the heat. Well, as much as those Weatherfield cops can. Let’s call it more of a soft glow.

Also on Friday, Beth and Kirk take Maria and Marcus to a gay bar. Oh, dear. Now he’ll see what he’s been missing. And it’s

not the Mojitos.