Your Movie Planner

SATURDAY

Nanny McPhee And The Big Bang (2010) U 5.45PM, ITV2

Emma Thompson writes and stars in the sequel to her Mary Poppins-style 2005 hit, and it has all the warts-to-riches magic of the first film. Maggie Gyllenhaal plays the mum struggling to keep the family farm afloat – enter Ms McPhee. The Keeper Of Lost Causes (2013) 15 9PM, BBC4

In BBC4’s Saturday-night Scandi-thrills slot is this Nordic noir, the first of three films based on Danish writer Jussi Adler-Olsen’s Department Q novels. Aggrieved detective Carl Morck (Nikolaj Lie Kaas) is bumped to the cold case basement, where he is assigned to find a missing woman. Limitless (2011) 15 10PM, CH4

Eagerly paced and neatly stylised, with Bradley Cooper (above right, with Robert De Niro) as the layabout writer getting a pharmacological boost from a pill that enhances a person’s mental capacity to incredible degrees. The Talented Mr Ripley (1999) 15 10.30PM, BBC2

Matt Damon (below, with Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow) is antihero Tom Ripley in this smart adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel, from British director Anthony Minghella. Starred Up (2013) 18

12.05AM, CH4

Gritty and powerful, this British prison drama pulls no punches in its depiction of the violent, humiliating reality of life for hardened inmates. Jack O’Connell stars as a young offender. Wedding Daze (2006) 15 12.20AM, BBC1

Hit-and-miss comedy that relies on our faith in happy ever afters. Jason Biggs plays a man grieving from the loss of his ‘perfect love’; one year on, he randomly proposes to the first woman he sees – Isla

Fisher’s waitress (right).

SUNDAY

13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi

(2016) 15

8PM, SKY PREMIERE

Michael Bay brings his sledgehammer-style glorification of violence to this back-slapping US military actioner about the 2012 attacks on government compounds in the Libyan city. Dominic Fumusa (above) is one of the guns for hire on the defensive at the behest of the CIA. Divergent

(2014) 12 9PM, CH5 Disappointing addition to the young-adult sci-fi roster, in which Shailene Woodley’s Tris learns that she doesn’t fit into a strictly stratified future society. Capable of independent thought, Tris struggles to follow the herd. Borrowed Time (2012) 15

10.35PM, BBC2

Shot on a shoestring around east London, this unpretentious comedy treads familiar oddcouple ground – with an urban twist. Phil Davis (left) is the surly OAP who forms an unlikely alliance with the debtridden lad (The Inbetweeners Movie’s Theo Barklem-Biggs) who tried to burgle his house. Midnight’s Children (2013) 12 11.10PM, BBC1

Salmon Rushdie adapts his own Booker Prizewinning novel for the screen. A magical lifeswap tale, it follows two boys – born on the eve of India’s independence from British colonial rule – who are switched at a Bombay hospital. One grows up in poverty, the other in privilege. Dead Man Down (2013) 15 11.45PM, CH5

Colin Farrell and Noomi Rapace star in this messy thriller – there’s a better film in there somewhere, but it’s stifled by unconvincing plot and characters. Farrell wants revenge on the crime boss who killed his wife and daughter, while Rapace has her own hand to play. The Magdalene Sisters (2002) 15 12 MIDNIGHT, BBC2

Peter Mullan’s powerful film is a fictionalised account of the so-called ‘Magdalene Laundries’, where young Irish women were sent to be ‘reformed’. Anne-Marie Duff, Nora-Jane Noone and Eileen Walsh are among the ‘wayward’ women. Stoker (2013) 18 12.10AM, CH4

See The Big Movie (right).

MONDAY

The Witches

(1967) PG

10AM, HORROR

Hammer folk horror starring Joan Fontaine as the schoolteacher who swaps Africa for a small English village, and falls victim to an occult threat worse than voodoo. (Freeview 70, Freesat 138, Sky 319, Virgin 149) The Reckless Moment (1949) PG 11AM, FILM4

Noir melodrama from the great German director Max Ophuls. James Mason (below, with Joan Bennett) is the gentleman hood who attempts to blackmail Bennett’s devoted housewife, only to be overcome by her charm. Hannah’s Law (2012) 12 3.15PM, CH5

Female-led western, starring Sara Canning as the Hannah of the title, a bounty hunter whose moral mettle is tested when she catches up with the gang who slaughtered her parents. Red Dragon (2002) 15 11.05PM, CH5

Brett Ratner’s classy take on Thomas Harris’s first Hannibal Lecter novel. Ed Norton is the retired FBI agent called back into service to find a psycho, and realising that he needs help from Anthony Hopkins’s madman (below).

Ils – Them

(2006) 15

12.55AM, HORROR

This French-Romanian home-invasion horror is a masterclass in sustained tension and dread, and it runs at just 77 minutes. Olivia Bonamy and Michael Cohen star as a couple who are stalked by small, unseen terrors, who have

a twisted idea of entertainment. The Pact (2012) 15

2.45AM, CH4

Caity Lotz (left) stars as a young woman who investigates a dark family secret after her sister and cousin both go missing shortly after the death of her mother. It’s not original, but the tension and supernatural elements are handled well.

TUESDAY

My Mom’s New Boyfriend (2008) 12 9AM, MOVIEMIX

This romcom sank without trace, despite an appealing cast and so-bad-it’s-got-to-be-good credentials. Meg Ryan is the mom, Antonio Banderas (above, with Ryan) is the boyfriend, and Colin Hanks is the FBI agent son trying to keep an eye on his mother and her dodgy beau. Double Indemnity (1944) PG 11AM, FILM4

See Classic Film Choice (right). They Were Not Divided (1950) PG 1.25PM, SPIKE

Though it was made five years after the war ended, this flag-waver feels as if it was made ten years earlier, when the home fires needed stoking. (Freeview 31, Freesat 141, Sky 160) Too Late To Say Goodbye

(2009) PG 3.15PM, CH5 The career of Rob Lowe (right) has since been revived, but in this ripped-from-the-headlines thriller, it’s still in the doldrums. He plays smarmy dentist Bart Corbin, whose sister-in-law (Lauren Holly) believes he’s a murderous adulterer of the lowest order. A League Of Their Own (1992) PG 6.25PM, FILM4

The sports movie gets a welcome twist and a starrily watchable cast that includes Geena Davis and Madonna. A rose-tinted comedy drama, it follows a women’s pro baseball team, formed while the men are away at war. Heartbreak Ridge (1986) 15 10PM, ITV4

Routine stuff from Clint Eastwood, who directs himself as the gruff Marine gunnery sergeant who tries to whip his dregs-of-society recruits into shape – the old way. The Messengers (2007) 15

9PM, HORROR

Derivative horror in which a troubled family (Kristen Stewart is the sullen teen) start a new life on a farm. They take in John Corbett’s scruff y drifter (right); calamity soon follows.

WEDNESDAY

Age Of The Gunslinger (2009) 12 1PM, SPIKE

Low-budget western with an irksome tone of righteousness. When his preacher father is killed by a saloon owner (Angus Macfadyen), James Conners (Justin Ament) faces a moral dilemma: should he honour his father’s wishes and let bygones be bygones, or seek revenge? A Wife’s Suspicion (2016) PG 3.15PM, CH5

Teaming up with her police detective ex-boyfriend, a forensic investigator (Andrea Roth) uncovers the terrifying possibility that her new husband is behind a series of killings. Vampire Academy (2014) 12 9PM, 5 STAR

The teen-friendly vampire thing has been done to death, and this doesn’t bring anything new to the table. Lucy Fry and Zoey Deutch (above) – one a vampire heiress, the other her guardian – are the pals who can’t escape their bloodlines, or a series of high-school comedy-based cliches. Outlander

(2008) 15

9PM, HORROR

The plot sounds preposterous, but in this case, the sillier the better. Jim Caviezel is the human-looking alien who crash-lands in Iron Age- Norway, inadvertently unleashing a very nasty alien beastie on the local Vikings. An enjoyably daft mash-up of old and sort of new. The Fugitive (1993) 15 10PM, ITV4

Excellently paced and convincingly cast, this film version of the 1960s TV series stars Harrison Ford (above) as Richard Kimble, the doctor wrongly accused of his wife’s murder, and going on the run to find the real killer. Sightseers (2012) 15 11PM, FILM4

In this pitch-black comedy, co-written by its stars, Steve Oram and Alice Lowe are the anorak-loving couple taking a road trip that turns seriously messy – think Nuts In May meets Natural Born Killers. The wonderful Lowe stars in the premiere of Black Mountain Poets, tomorrow at 10.50pm on Film4.

THURSDAY

My Girl

(1991) PG 1PM, MOVIEMIX Sentimental preteen romance with Anna Chlumsky (above right, with Macaulay Culkin) as the young girl coming to terms with life, love and loss. With an adult cast including Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis, it really should have more bite, but this is mushy at best. The Killing Game (2011) 12 3.15PM, CH5

A low-rent adaptation of the Eve Duncan crime novels by Iris Johansen. Laura Prepon stars as Duncan, a forensic scientist whose sad past comes back to haunt her. Ten years after her daughter was murdered, an unknown caller claims to know the whereabouts of the body. The Restless Breed (1957) PG

3.20PM, SPIKE

Virtually unrecognisable and strangely cast, Anne Bancroft (left) adds a passionate note to this solid B-movie western from director Allan Dwan. An aspiring dancer at a school for half-white, half-Native American children, she tries to distract Scott Brady from his mission of revenge. The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (2010) PG 8.30PM, E4

The order of C.S. Lewis’s famous and enduring Narnia Chronicles is hotly disputed, but here’s the third to get the live-action film treatment. This time round, the Pevensie children – and their cousin, Eustace – return to Narnia to find their old pal, Caspian, in a bit of a pickle. Black Mountain Poets (2015) 15 10.50PM, FILM4

Alice Lowe and Dolly Wells star as bickering sisters who, via a strange, silly and convoluted set-up, impersonate acclaimed Beat poets at a festival in Wales. It’s not a belly laugh of a film, but in the hands of two such accomplished comedy actresses, you’ll be charmed for sure. The Machine

(2013) 15

1.15AM, MOVIEMIX

There’s quite a lot going on in this British sci-fi thriller – big ideas that aren’t all fleshed out satisfactorily. That said, it’s still intriguing, and seductively styled. Toby Stephens is the tortured scientist working for the MOD at a top-secret facility; he’s tasked with creating a sentient war machine and inevitably, the machine has ideas of her own…

FRIDAY

Marriage Of Lies (2016) 15 3.20PM, CH5

April Bowlby stars as a woman whose husband goes missing without trace. With the police and the town gossips suspecting her of foul play, she’s out to prove her innocence. Grimsby (2016) 15 8PM, SKY PREMIERE Sacha Baron Cohen unleashes a new over-thetop caricature in this Bond-style spoof. Here, his mutton-chopped lout Nobby (below) is reunited with his long-lost brother, now an MI6 assassin (played perfectly deadpan by Mark Strong).

Man On A Ledge (2012) 12 9PM, MORE4

In a thriller that develops from the suicidal MacGuffin of the title, Sam Worthington stars as an escaped convict looking to clear his name, and get revenge on the man who framed him. Paul

(2011) 15 9PM, E4

Simon Pegg (below) and Nick Frost play two friends on a road trip in America’s UFO country. In between getting bullied by rednecks, they pick up an alien (voiced by Seth Rogen), and help him to avoid the men in black suits. Fight Club (1999) 18

10PM, 5STAR

David Fincher’s full-blooded adaptation of Chuck Palahniuk’s cult novel stars Brad Pitt and Ed Norton as the men fighting to understand their places in a confusing, materialistic, conformist and at times overly emotional world. Helena Bonham Carter and Meat Loaf co-star. Blade Trinity (2004) 15 11PM, SPIKE

Wesley Snipes (left) bows out as the leather-clad half-human, halfvampire hero in the last of the movie series (Kirk Jones took the lead in an ill-fated TV spin-off). It’s not the best film, but it keeps the spirit alive – and both Ryan Reynolds and Parker Posey look like they had fun.